I just wanted to see you.. [Tagged]

[Twix]

Finally the time had come. There was a flash of white slipping out of the camp tonight, but luckily not a cat had seen her. As soon as she knew she was free from her clanmates, the she-cat ran through the forest as fast as her legs could take her. Her path was set- straight towards the Stormclan border, and the river that laid there. She had showed up on the time the two had agreed on, but the tom hadn't shown. She couldn't help but wonder if he forgot, or if he had merely been playing with her the first night they had met. but every night since, she still spent at least part of her nights sitting at the edge of the river. Waiting. Listening. Hoping. 

Wishing he would return again. All she wants to do is see him. Was that so much to ask for? Then again, maybe it was, since he was in a different clan. This was forbidden among the clans, but she didn't care. She wanted him, and that's all there was too it. She could only hope he did too, and that his absence meant he couldn't slip away, or he had been too busy. She had to be optimistic, otherwise, her self-pity and depression would swamp her. She didn't want that. She.. she wanted him. If she could brave the waters of the river she would go looking for him in unknown territory, but the memory of what happened last time was still fresh in her mind. She knew what it would lead to if she tried. She couldn't leave that on his conscious, if he were ever to find out, especially after the warning he had given her. Instead once she finally reached her destination, she took a seat at the edge of the bubbling water. Wrapping her tail around her paws, she waited, just as she always seemed to do. It was all she could do.

[Carotius]

[Carotius]

Twix
OOC: FINALLY.

---

The chill was setting in, gripping living beings in its cold metaphorical claws as it swept through the territories. Grey-splotched fur glistened a shining silver in the patches of sick moonlight, as its tangible body was carried forward by black-footed legs sprinting through the dense undergrowth. Puffs of air escaping his muzzle turned into small clouds of frosted air, dissipating as quickly as it formed, much like the existenceo of life as a whole. How will she react? He knew not of how to break this decision of his; the thoughts in his head were plenty, and they were terribly muddled from trying to piece them together from all the little bit and pieces it had existed in prior. His heart was clenching and hammering in his chest, and he wasn't sure from what emotion it was.

Blue eyes flickered through the shadowy towers of wood, the familiar scent of the river tickling his nose. He was getting close. That was a good thing. And bad. Or both. How do I tell her? The tom was not going to the river this late at night to meet with Rainbriar, as much as he wanted to, considering how usual their meetings were becoming - he was meeting the one other MidnightClan warrior he had grown feelings for. The name sounded equally as wonderful on his tongue as he had first met her. Though, it did bring the memory of their unwanted swim in the cold clutches of the river...oh mouse-dung! He sped up, worry lending him the energy to reach the meeting point before anything could happen to her.

Webfire was rewarded by the sight of the silver-patched warrior on the opposite end of the bank, her blue eyes staring longingly across to the pines of StormClan. Grounding himself to a halt, he let a purr rumble in his throat, flicking an ear in earnest greeting at the she-cat, even though he felt terrible afterwards when he remembered what was to be told later.

"Missed me?"

[Twix]

Ears pricked and senses alert, the she-cat easily picked up the sound of paw-steps nearing the other side of the river. Her white tail was held up in anticipation as she watched, staring at the line of foliage until another white and grey pelt emerged. He had come! He hadn't forgotten about her! Ivyleaf took a step forward in an attempt to run to him and push her muzzle into her fur, but the freezing cold water of the river jolted her back to her senses. Her front paws were in submerged in the water and she instantly jumped backwards; in her excitement she had forgotten the river even existed.

Ivyleaf would have to wait until the tom jumped onto the platform in the middle of the running water, and then onto her side of the river. Her claws unsheathed and sheathed, over and over as they sunk into the grass, anxious for him to be next to her again. "Of course I missed you!", she called to him, her voice seeming to echo around them in the silence of the cold, leafbare night. "Come over here, please?" This time her voice was quieter, but still just enough to be heard from where he was. All she wanted to do was curl herself around the tom; the same white and grey splotched tom she had met so long ago. It seemed like ages since their last meeting. She wondered if he missed her as much as she missed him. If he did, wouldn't he have come to see her? At the thought, a knot began to grow in her stomach. She had a feeling this night wasn't going to go the way she had planned it, the way she had hoped it would go, but she did her best to stay optimistic as she waited for him.

[Carotius]

One could imagine the StormClanner's reaction when Ivyleaf seemingly attempted to run across the surface of the river, quite as if she'd forgotten the accidental swim they had the previous time they were here. I didn't ask for a round two! Alarm shot through him as the patched she-cat's front paws splashed into the shallower regions of the river, before pulling back onto the dry and pebbly banks at the realisation that the river did, indeed, exist. Webfire let go of the breath he hadn't realised he held, shooting the MidnightClanner a deadpan look that said nothing less than 'You did not seriously just do that'.

Rolling his blue oculars dramatically, the splotched tom loped steadily over to the Platform, his legs never missing a beat as he mentally calculated the strength needed to clear the jump. Pssh, even if he missed, he could still swim to the other bank. Mouse-brain, are you forgetting it's cold? Leaf-bare striking the forest once more was going to make swimming a...less than exciting activity, considering how much even a swimmer like him would shiver and shake afterwards. With that in mind, he made sure he landed neatly on the monolith in the centre of the river, before leaping once more and steadying himself on MidnightClan territory. The musky odour that was their scent mark seemed to have thinned out from the cold.

"Well, I'm here now. Right after you tried to drown yourself a second time, apparently," he snorted, padding over to Ivyleaf with his tail curled over his back, his twitching whiskers the only indication of how he was only teasing her. "Don't mind me being nosy, but I hope you've gotten your fair share of prey. Wouldn't want my supposed long-lost sister turning into a skeleton cat by newleaf."

Webfire stopped himself right in front of the she-cat, his eyes soft and glittering as he gazed deep into her own pair of blue ones. I had to choose.. He kept the sadness inside him, not wanting Ivyleaf to see it until he wanted her to see it. Tonight should have been like any other night they could have had, to see each other when the other cats were asleep, and to enjoy the warmth and company each other's pelts as they observed the starlit sky together. Tonight would have been just another sneaky evening of them being together.

but it was not meant to be another of those nights.

[Twix]

It only took a few confident leaps before Webfire was on her side of the river. The white and silver-patched she-cat instantly darted over towards him, her blue eyes shining. She had forgotten all about her wet paws that she had tried to shake dry halfheartedly, but they were still damp and the cold began to grip them. She didn't cared as she sat close beside him, their fur brushing and mingling together. She breathed in his scent as it washed over her; her heart fluttering madly in her chest. How I've missed him.

Silence stretched out between them before the she-cat could finally find words. "Oh, right, you saw that.." she trailed off and stared at her now freezing paws. She hadn't even bothered to lick them dry. "I didn't mean to. I forgot about the river for a moment, as mouse-brained as that is." She forced a small laugh. In her moment of excitement, it was like the water wasn't even there- until it's cold had shocked her back to reality. "And I've been eating fine. Everything's been.. difficult, back at camp though." She eyed him for a moment; he looked skinnier than the last time she had seen him. She guessed she probably did too. Leafbare was hard for all the clans, but she couldn't bring herself to mention the greencough. She didn't want to think about it- not here. but she knew it had spread to every clan, and they were all vulnerable. Her heart worried more for him than it did for her. "How have you been?" she asked cheerfully, doing her best not to let her dark thoughts ruin this night.

[Carotius]

OOC: Ohgod this post is crappy

---

The splotched tom heaved a sigh of undisguised relief, staring at the she-cat's paws that had splashed in the waters not too long ago. It had to be shivering from cold by now, as soon as it may sound, and he resisted another amused snort at her claim of forgetting the river existed. As Ivyleaf chattered with her pelt brushing his, the StormClanner leant down towards her forepaws, and rasped his tongue across her toes in long, smooth strokes, ignoring the taste of sour oak; he didn't want the chill of leaf-bare to fully grip the she-cat, especially if he could help it. but some pains are and will be because of me.. The tom had made several big decisions as of late, and, as much as it hurt him, his relationship with Ivyleaf was one of them.

An ear flickered curiously at the small laugh escaping the patched she-cat. Something didn't seem right about it, and Webfire wasn't one to simply let it slide once he noticed it, more so if he held concern for those cats. His suspicion was solidified by her inquiry on his goings of life while they'd been away from each other - it was abrupt, and the cheerful tone sounded almost as forced as the laugh from earlier. Are you hiding something? Webfire gave the she-cat's paws one last lick, then raised his head to look her dead in the eye with a serious expression, one that held more questions than answers.

"I've been...hungry, to say the least. Most food I gave up for the kits and elders," he answered vaguely, scrutinising her tabby face for any indications of distress. He quickly loosened his face into a smile, flicking her spine gently with his tail tip. "but I'm fine. There's been worse than this, and I survived them, after all."

Webfire's mind was racing, however, all the thoughts of his decision clamping down on him like a cat's jaws would on prey. How would he tell Ivyleaf? How would she react? How can he just turn away after this? His tail tip twitched nervously, his heart beginning to sink from all the terrible thoughts of hurt and screaming he pictured as the outcome.

[Twix]

Ivyleaf let out a soft, quiet purr as she felt his tongue against her paws and the cold began to ease from them. but her purr was cut short as a tickle bounced around in her throat, daring her to cough, but she refused. After a few moments it disappeared and she let out a relieved sign, hopefully quiet enough for him not to notice. She sank against the white and grey tom and let his soft fur wrap around her. The she-cat felt at peace with him beside her, allowing all of her worries seep away, if only for the moment.

His serious gaze swept over the she-cat. She lifted her head to where her own sky blue eyes reflected with his, but they brimmed instead with affection and admiration for him. "You're strong, and brave," she murmured. "Of course you'd survive." It wasn't hard for her to imagine him giving up prey to those in his clan that needed it most, even with it being hard for everyone. but if he was busy worrying about everyone else; she was glad to be the one to worry about him. Even if I'm not there. It was the hardest thing being apart from him. Then she remembered the scent she had picked up during her training session with Poppypaw. It had been his scent. Would it be smart to bring it up now? He seemed fine. but a question still lingered in her thoughts, like burr stuck deep in her pelt. Who did the other scent belong to? Deep down she felt like she should know who it was, but couldn't place it.

Her thoughts had been haunted by that day ever since the morning it had occurred. but now wasn't the time to question it, and instead nuzzled closer towards him. Together the two of them sat below a cold, starry night, silently sharing eachothers warmth. What could be more important than this?

[Carotius]

The purr that rumbled in the she-cat's throat soothed Webfire, even if it was for a moment that was abruptly cut off by something he didn't quite catch. His intent to question her quickly dissipated into nothingness as he felt a warm flank press up against his leaner side; the tom had looked up from licking Ivyleaf's toes to give her a serious look, only to earn a warm and affectionate gaze from her similarly blue eyes that glowed beneath the starlight of the forest. Something stirred in his heart, and he knew he'd felt it before.

Rainbriar.

At the very thought of the other tabby MidnightClan warrior, the splotched tom sensed unease coming from Ivyleaf as she nuzzle closer to him, and it was very much like she had some worries of her own eating her from the inside. Like mine? Webfire's scarred muzzle parted an inch, wanting to ask the patched she-cat of her thoughts. Nothing came out. He closed it back, frustrated, tail tip twitching in agitation as he tried to pick out the words to convey the message and question, hopefully without provoking too much of negative emotions that would hurt them both. In hindsight, that was quite impossible.

Letting out a quiet sigh, he twisted his head just so he could rest his head on Ivyleaf's. The fur on Webfire's shoulders had been bristling earlier, but he forced them flat. He didn't want to alarm the she-cat so quickly, knowing how jumpy she seemed to be if trouble was abound. I'm sorry. White ears flattened in partial shame and anger at himself, though he knew he would suffer enough as it is once the time was right. Uh. That sounded a little harsh for himself.

I'm so sorry.

"Something's wrong and you're not hiding it well enough," he mumbled, beginning to pull his head away. "What is it?"

[Twix]

Even though the silver-patched she-cat had her eyes close, she knew there was something wrong. The stiffness in her companion beside her, the forced silence, the bristling fur.. I guess we both have our own worries. She thought sadly. This was supposed to be a happy meeting. She wasn't supposed to be worrying about anything. but even with the warmth coming from him, the icy feeling of dread crept up her spine. She wanted to ignore it- this wasn't the time. Push it away. Avoid it.. Please, now's not the time. Her chest felt tight. Was it because of the sickness or her own anxieties? She fidgeted against the white tom and her tail-tip twitched. There was no avoiding it once the words were finally spoken. He just had to ask.. Blue eyes blinked open but her head didn't turn to look at him. Sky blue eyes were trained on the dark, starry sky above them. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that she thought there was no way he couldn't hear it.

She drew in a deep breath but never turned to look at him, she couldn't bring herself to do so. "I smelled your scent on the platform a few days ago, while I was out with my apprentice." Each word felt as if it'd get stuck in her throat. How much should she tell him? She definitely couldn't say anything about the oncoming sickness. He'd only worry. And what about the fact that she was expecting? It was still early, and no one else would be able to tell except for her. Her tail curled tightly around herself and her belly- her kits. Not yet. I can't tell him yet. There was a long pause before she finally continued. "It was mixed in with another Midnightclan scent. but it wasn't mine. Who's was it?" The question sounded accusing- but quiet. It was barely more than a whisper. She was afraid of the answer; she didn't really want to know the truth behind it. I just wanted to forget. Why did you have to ask? Why couldn't I have just forgotten about it? She knew it couldn't be anything good. She finally turned her head to look at him, and there was sadness and a silent agony in her blue eyes. She needed an answer, but she didn't want one. Her claws sank into the ground, an attempt to keep her on her paws; she felt as if she would fall over at any moment. She wasn't ready for his reply, but there was no turning back now.

[Carotius]

Way to put it straight out, lovely. Webfire lamented internally, keeping his eyes level with Ivyleaf's as the latter turned. Those blue orbs of sight glistened with a deep mixture of pain and sadness, looking at him as if she was imploring him to quickly get it over with so they could move on with their evening together. The MidnightClan warrior's posture seemed to say otherwise, though, denying the mind's want for an answer to the accusatory question that just got thrown the tom's way. The splotched tom nearly wished the strained silence between them had been for longer, just to avoid the tension this meeting was developing.

but as he had predicted earlier, this evening was not meant to be like any other evening.

"I spent the past moon or two thinking over this long and hard, and...I suppose there's no use to hold it out further," he murmured, taking a step away from the she-cat as he breathed in her scent, knowing it would soon turn sour with anger and despair at what was to come. His heart seemed to barely beat as he continued, "Ivyleaf, I'm sorry I never told you this earlier, but I fell deeply in love with another of your Clan long as an apprentice, long before I met you. There was no way I could choose between you both - I loved you as much as I loved her."

It was getting more agonising to speak, even after all the mental rehearsals he'd done by himself and with his older brother. Okay, doing it with the black-masked tom was a little awkward in retrospect, but it couldn't be helped. Webfire needed to make his words right and not harm more than he should, something that was against his blunt impulsiveness in speech. but he couldn't bear to shoot through this, as much as he wanted to - he cared dearly for Ivyleaf, for Rainbriar...too much to ever think of leaving or hurting them. 

Yet here he was, his black paws already backpedaling slowly towards the river border, the harsh beating of the heart against his ribcage beginning to vibrate throughout his body and thrumming in his ears. There's nothing else to say. Webfire's blue eyes were wide with remorse as he stared towards the patched she-cat, muzzle hanging open in a wordless cry. You'll only hate me for this. They all do.

[Twix]

Ivyleaf sat in silence for a long time as she listened to the tom's words. Her muzzle hung open but no words came out- she wasn't even sure if she was breathing anymore. The fact that her claws were dug deep into the ground was the only thing keeping her upright, but her head drooped so low her nose could almost brush the long-dead grass. Grief pushed at the back of her eyes as tears began to form.. The she-cat took a breath to steady herself and looked up; there was defiance, anger and sadness battling it's way into her gaze as she stared him down. He was backing away towards the river, and she took a step towards him, managing to stay on her paws as she did so. "You chose her.." she put as much strength as she could muster into her words, but she could still hear her voice cracking. She felt as if her heart was, too. "You never loved me," she growled. Her anger began to match pain and sadness.

The white and silver-patched she-cat had took another step toward him, her head now raised but there were tears streaming freely down the sides of her face. Ivyleaf was too upset to notice that snowflakes began to fall from the sky; likely the first snow of the night. It fell slowly and delicately at first, but rapidly began to fall much heavier. It was as if the weather could feel the pain in her heart. "How could you just lie to me like that?" her words nothing but a snarl now; "Why did you even bother with m-" Her words were cut off from a strong bout of coughing. The moment had caused too much stress for her, making it unable to control and hide the sickness that had already began to grip her. but that didn't matter now. None of it did. As soon as she was able to pull air into her lungs again, she turned away from the tom. There was nothing left to say or hear. She headed into the trees and back towards home, but there was a soft murmur as she went; "Just get off my territory." With that, the white she-cat was enveloped by the dark, snow-covered forest.