Constant Changes (Stormsy)

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Suntail was surprised by her inability to speak as the two stared out over the water together, and even more surprised when she realized that she didn't really feel the need to say anything. Silence had always been uncomfortable to Suntail, and she was always saying something. but right now, she felt like if she spoke, she would break something, a feeling that felt, well, right. She wasn't sure why, but in that moment, she felt a connection to Ravenheart.

Then everything hit her at once. No. She couldn't go through this again. She wouldn't put herself in that position again, wouldn't set herself up for more heartbreak. She couldn't relive the countless sleepless nights, the feeling of being torn apart piece by piece...

"Umm, I need to go," she mewed, a panicked edge to her voice. She stood up suddenly, and the spark that she had felt was gone. She began to back away slowly, her green eyes wide.

[Stormsy]

Ravenheart was a quiet cat, and the silence made him feel at ease, and he knew he couldn't mess up too bad without speaking. When the small tom felt Suntail tense up beside him, though, he automatically thought back on that. I guess I really can mess up in any situation! he thought miserably. And I really started to like her...

His face fell as she got up and began to back away. His own wide eyes met the she-cat's, and he felt as if he had suddenly been tossed off of a cliff. What have I done now? he thought, face falling. "A-alright...sorry..." he mumbled.

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Suntail's heart broke a bit when she saw his reaction. He had been nothing but kind to her, and now he thought he had done something wrong. She wanted to explain herself, but she couldn't find the words.

"I'm so sorry," she mewed sincerely, still backing away.

'StarClan, do you hate me?' she screamed in her head. Why did everything bad happen to her? Why couldn't she have lived a simple life- why did everything have to be so complicated?

"I'm sorry," she repeated, her gaze filled with sadness, loneliness, and countless other emotions.

[Stormsy]

Ravenheart realized that Suntail may have thought he was trying to guilt trip her into staying, and he didn't want her to think he was that kind of cat. "N-no it's fine," he meowed, putting on a more calm expression and turning back to the waves lapping at his paws. The midnight blue color of the ocean seemed to draw him in, though he didn't move.

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Suntail started to turn away, but couldn't force her paws to walk away from him. She felt like she was being torn in half. Her heart told her that she should stay, that she should take a risk, but how could she go through all of that pain again?

It felt like her paws were stuck in mud. She couldn't force herself to walk away, but she couldn't make herself go sit by the lake, either. Her head was spinning and her heart was racing and she couldn't think.

[Stormsy]

"I-if you think I'm going to hurt you, I don't think I will," he meowed nervously, worry flowing over him that he had said the wrong thing. The two-colored tom turned, sitting up a little straighter. "If we are both afraid of being hurt, neither of us will hurt each other, right?" he added, and pulled his tail closer to himself. Ravenheart had a good feeling about Suntail, and didn't want to mess it up.

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"No, I don't think that you'll hurt me," she mewed, but she herself didn't quite believe it. As she listened she only felt worse and worse. He had been hurt in the past too, and once again Suntail was being selfish, only considering herself.

"Yeah," she mewed, staring at her paws. Maybe they could heal together...

[Stormsy]

"Oh, please don't feel worse! I'm sorry," he meowed quickly, seeing that her mood only seemed to go lower. He turned towards the sea again, not able to look at her while she was in pain. Ravenheart felt like he was only making things worse -- and without even realizing it!

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"No, you didn't do anything!" she exclaimed. Everything seemed so backwards. Her thoughts were so jumbled up. She wanted to comfort him and run away at the same time, and she didn't know what to think or what to feel right now.

She sat down suddenly and stared at her paws, head spinning, trying to calm her nerves.

[Stormsy]

"I'm sorry," he meowed yet again unable to not apologize. A neutral tone came over his voice -- he didn't want to let his emotions out in full anymore. The black and white tom shook his head ever so slightly, and he got worried when the she-cat behind him stopped speaking. "Suntail? It'll be okay, I think,"

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"Please don't apologize," Suntail begged, feeling worse every time he said he was sorry. It wasn't really his fault, although in a way it was. She felt so confused.

Would everything really be okay? It seemed impossible that everything could truly come out okay. Everything bad that could possibly happen seemed to happen to her, and she wondered what StarClan had in store for her this time.

She had decided that she wouldn't set herself up for heartbreak again, but what if she was already falling?

[Stormsy]

Ravenheart stayed silent now, not wanting to make Suntail feel any more uncomfortable. He looked up at the moon that was high in the sky still, surrounded by glittering stars. Just looking at Silverpelt made him feel happier -- much like when he looked at the water. Now, looking down at the sea in front of them he noticed that the stars could be seen in the waves.

The black and white tom turned to look at the she-cat he refused to acknowledge that he was falling in love with. He prepared to say something, but his mind went blank. Ravenheart opened his jaws then closed them again, a frustrated look coming over his face. In the end, he just turned back around, frowning. Why was he getting so speechless around Suntail?

[Deleted]

Tags: Stormsy

OOC: I am so, so sorry for such a late response! I haven't forgotten about this thread, I honestly thought that I had posted and came back to it and realized that I hadn't. I hope you are still interested in this...


Suntail couldn't think of anything to say, so she sat there in awkward silence as she attempted to work through her feelings.

Then, another thought hit her, an a chill raced through her. She couldn't let herself fall for him, because despite the fact that they really had only just met, she realized that she couldn't bear to hurt him, and Suntail knew that she would destroy not only herself, but him as well. Disaster seemed to follow her, and she couldn't put Ravenheart through everything that she had already been through.

but even as she had this thought, Suntail glanced over at the quiet tom sitting next to her and felt the same connection as before, stronger this time, and she couldn't control it when she moved just a bit closer to him, letting their pelts touch ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry," she mewed, suddenly moving away from him. She couldn't make up her mind, and it was ripping her to pieces.

[Stormsy]

(( Of course I still want to! ))

Ravenheart felt a thrill go through him when Suntail pressed against him slightly. A tiny purr released from his throat but he stopped it quickly. He nodded understandingly to Suntail when she pulled away, not wanting to speak and ruin something. The black and white tom continued to look forward, a mostly blank expression on his face apart from a small frown.

[Deleted]

Suntail sat and stared at the ocean, and, despite all of her misgivings, she felt calm for once after having felt the connection between them again. but could she really do this?

She glanced at him and her heart leaped. What was wrong with her?