Just Thinking {Dawn}

[Foxpaw]

A petite she-cat slipped through the fields of mostly dead flowers with an almost eerie silence to her steps. She felt like a ghost, cold and alone as she padded through the still, unfamiliar world, made even more strange by the cover of night and the freshly fallen snow. One brown tabby paw slid into the cold powder then another until she came to a halt. Her blue eyes were as big as the animal she was named after as she stared forlornly at the hills and winding, frozen streams that had been her home once upon a time.

Mousestep had no regrets, however. Sure, she missed swimming, she missed sliding on frozen rivers, she missed the familiarity, and she certainly missed being treated well and fairly. but she knew what she was getting into with Hawkshadow, and the homesickness she felt now was nothing compared to the aching lonliness she felt, lying in the StormClan camp and knowing she couldn't be with him. Feeling more content, she turned and prepared for the long track back, hoping her mate hadn't woken up seen her missing. The last thing she wanted was him to wake up and think she had returned to her birth clan.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

Hawkshadow woke, not from any particular stirring, but lack thereof. There was a cold empty space beside him, and a deep freeze had settled around him. His first reflex was to scooch closer to Mousestep, but as he fumbled around for her, he found her sweet scent stale and her warmth absent. His pale green eyes flew open in alarm. No...There's no way she would..

He shook his head and stood as quietly as he could, as not to wake his fellow warriors. She wouldn't go back. She's risked so much. Would her birth clan even take her back? What if she's out there by herself, with no home? His panic got the best of him and before he knew it he was bounding out of the clearing. He slowed only to check the scents around him, hoping to catch the one he had grown so familiar to. It was there, but only faintly. He traced it as well as he could, until he could tell she was fairly near. Anxiety tore at his chest. How would she react to him coming after her?

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep froze nervously, big ears perked. They were very useful at some points, this being one of them. She heard paws pounding against the ground, and she crouched slightly, heart hammering in her chest like a caged bird. What if it was another WhisperClan cat? They'd do their best to make it seem like she was betraying her new clan and more importantly, her mate.

She crept forward, the cold snow caking her belly as she crouched in it. She was so very cold. She couldn't help but wish that she was curled safely beside Hawkshadow. She peeked out from behind a cluster of flowers and felt a flash of relief. "Hawkshadow," she breathed in relief, straightening up and padding towards him, blue eyes bright.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

"Oh, Mousestep!" Relief flooded over him. Hawkshadow closed the distance between them. He pushed his white muzzle into her neck fur. "I thought you had..." he trailed off, assuming she could guess what he was thinking. "Where did you go? I woke up and you were gone. It's so cold, you're going to get ill out here.." He fretted, looking over her. She seemed well enough, and it was obvious she had not travelled very far. but she had come from the direction of the border. He didn't want to dwell on this fact. Perhaps she just wanted to look. Perhaps.

He rasped his tongue over her head, an easy feat; she was exceptionally smaller than him, both because of his unusually large body and her unusually small body. He began to feel the cold seeping into his pelt.

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep instantly felt a fresh rush of guilt at his words. Ears burning, she pressed herself against him, resting her head under his. She was shivering from nose to tail-tip and a light dusting of snow covered her brown tabby pelt. She glanced up, blue eyes huge with guilt. "I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to worry you. I just had a dream and was feeling a little homesick so I decided taking a look would ease my mind. I didn't want to make you miss any sleep, and it was just going to be a quick trip..." she explained, breathe ghosting out in tiny clouds as she spoke. "I'd never leave you for good..." she mewed, quiet voice taking on a more stern tone.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

Hawkshadow reveled in her touch. Just a few moments ago, he thought she had left him for good. He gazed back at her beautiful blue orbs. "It's just fine. I worry too much.." he muttered. He pushed even closer to her. "I should know better. You risked so much for me. You wouldn't leave after all that." Guilt clawed at his own chest, would she be upset that he doubted her. Even for a second? "Let's get back before anyone know's we're missing." he shook the gathering snow from his pelt and gave Mousestep's head one last lick.

[Foxpaw]

"Right," Mousestep murmured, relieved that he had come to his senses. She couldn't blame him. She would of thought the same thing in his situation. but there was a reason she had to come clear her mind. She had told her brother, and so far only he knew. Stomach churning, she stopped moving to stand where she was, perfectly still. Her blue eyes were big and nervous as she stared at her mate. "I need to tell you something before we go back, Hawkshadow," she mewed quietly.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

Some dark feeling clawed over his heart. Was she going to leave? He internally rolled his eyes. Give it a rest. She's not going anywhere without you. he told himself.
He turned and faced her, green gazing into blue. "Yeah, what is it, Mousestep?" his voice filled with concern. He looked her over. She looked well enough, just cold. Maybe a bit plump, but the clan had been lucky this leafbare, so no cat had suffered too much.

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep looked down, shuffling her paws and covering them in soft, white snow. She took a deep breathe, gathering her courage best she could and steeling herself for his reaction, whatever it might be. "We're going to be parents..." She mewed quietly, voice barely more than a whisper. She looked up quickly, eyes yet again big and nervous.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

He drew a complete blank. "W-what?" His breath billowed around them in quick bursts. His green eyes flicked all over the place, then back at her. "Us?" He was numb, both from cold and the news.

Something kick started in his brain. His tail flew up in the air and he bounced all around her. A great purr rumbled his whole body. He circled around her, rubbing himself all over. "That's great!" He crouched down and stared at her belly, eyes huge, cold forgotten.

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep felt her blood run cold, as cold as the frozen stream that she knew was on the other side of the border. What was wrong? Was he that upset about being a Father? Instinctively, she wrapped her tail around her swelling stomach in a purely protective gesture.

She let out a relieved breathe, giggling slightly at his uncharacteristic show of energy. Her tail instantly dropped, and she met out an amused purr. "Love, I don't think they're going to come out yet," she purred, tone light and teasing, eyes bright and warm. She should of known better.Hawkshadow loved her, and he'd love their kits just the same.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

He stood back up, ears hot. "Right!" His love for her pounded in his veins. And our kits! He still gazed at her belly, soaked with snow. Alarm flashed in his eyes. "Won't they get too cold? Aren't you cold?" His eyes drew up to hers. "The cold can't be good for you either. Come now." He stood besider her and twined his tail with hers, ready to set off back to camp.

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep let out a soft sigh as she pressed against the tom cat. She felt like he had a right to know, but at the same time, she didn't want to worry him. Still, she knew it had to be done. "They won't get too cold," she mewed gently, ear twitching. "but there is something else..." She took a deep breathe and paused, claws kneading the ground anxiously. "I'm sure it's nothing, but Icetail said that I might have trouble because I'm so small, and you're so big, so if I have big kits, or even average sized kits... There could be some complications..." She finished quietly.

[☀Dawnfeather☀]

"but...you'd make it, right?" his heart felt as if it'd stopped. "And they'll be okay too, right? It'll just hurt more, right?" his voiced raised in pitch and anxiety at each question. His eyes clouded in pain and denial. His ecstaticness felt like moons ago. This was all his fault. He searcher her face for some sort of consolation.

[Foxpaw]

Mousestep's blue eyes softened, her heart aching for him. She half wished she didn't tell him about it, but what was done was done. She closed the space between them, nuzzling his cheek. "I'm sure I'll be fine... Cats my size have kits everyday, and things go just fine," she mewed soothingly before pulling back to look him in the eye, expression solemn. "Don't regret this. Don't regret them." She glanced lovingly at her stomach, face full of love.