Is This Right? (Fawnstar)

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(@fawnstar)

Cedarpaw sighed. He had just finished sorting some herbs, many of which he didn't know the names of. He only knew the herbs his Starclan mentor, Icepelt had taught him in their one training session.

He stepped out of his den and laid down right outside of it. His thoughts soon consumed him and he was oblivious to the things happening around him. I feel so weak... If a war happened, many cats would die because of me. I don't even have an alive mentor to help me and guide me! Sure, I have a Starclan mentor, but I can only visit her in my dreams... I've always dreamed of becoming a strong, fierce warrior, maybe fight in a few battles, find my true love and take care of some lovely kits... but now I can't do any of that... I don't know if Starclan was right when they chose me as the medicine cat. Surely they made a mistake?

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Blazepaw bounced through the clearing, her jaws once again empty, but that didn't stop her good mood that seemed to follow her everywhere she went.

She sat down suddenly, a cloud of dust curling upward around her. What to do now? She couldn't go hunting by herself, she couldn't even get that with her mentor. And all of the apprentices seemed to be scurrying around the camp doing things, or out in the forest somewhere. All except one.

She saw an apprentice outside the medicine cat den. That was the new medicine cat, right? Blazepaw didn't care, and didn't think twice before hopping up and padding over to him.

"What's your name?" she mewed without preamble. She didn't give him a chance to speak before continuing. "You're the new medicine cat, right? That must be cool! but maybe you get lonely sometimes in that big den all by yourself. Are you okay if I sit here?" she asked, not waiting for a response before sitting next to him, nonchalantly gazing around the clearing.

"Oh, my name's Blazepaw," she added as an afterthought.

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Cedarpaw's tail flickered back and forth, annoyed by the fast talking she-cat. "It's not that great, actually," he muttered under his breath, not caring if Blazepaw heard or not. I didn't even say that she could sit beside me! he thought, holding back a growl.

"I'm Cedarpaw. And I guess you can sit there..." he trailed off, annoyance clear in his voice. 

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"Okay!" she mewed, not noticing his irritated tone.

"So, I bet you've learned a lot already. Do you think you could fix me if I fell out of tree? Because that's very possible," she mewed with a giggle. "I've come close before. Have you ever tried to climb a tree? It's really hard. So is hunting, but I'm still working on that, and maybe I'll be good at it one day. And then I'll become a warrior," she mewed, rambling on and on, changing the subject several times, hardy pausing between sentences.

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Cedarpaw sighed as the she-cat rambled on, but he couldn't help but listen to her. When she finally stopped talking, he mewed, "I haven't learned that much yet, so probably not. And yes, I have tried to climb a tree before..." he paused, remembering the time he snuck out of camp as a kit and tried to climb a tree. He ended up falling on the first branch, and thankfully, the branch wasn't high enough to injure him.

He snapped out of his thoughts. The word 'warrior' made his heart sink. I'll never be a warrior... he thought. "Have fun..." he mumbled sadly.

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Blazepaw suddenly saw the look on his face and stopped speaking, then padded a bit closer, her bright eyes open wide with concern and curiosity.

"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I did, I just talk and talk and I think it annoys some cats but I can't help it I just get excited and then I keep talking and then I don't stop and oh StarClan I'll shut up now," she mewed, making a point of closing her mouth and sitting in silence for a long moment. Her tail swished back and forth and she shifted her weight back and forth, hardly able to sit still.

Finally, she hopped up and started pacing. If she couldn't talk, she at least needed to move a bit.


Tags: @heatherpaw

OOC: Sorry it took me so long to respond! Technological difficulties...

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(It's fine! I keep getting sick and I haven't been all that active recently!)

"I'm fine!" he growled. She wouldn't understand... he thought. but I shouldn't be so mean... Maybe I just need to get all of this off my chest...

"I really don't think I'm okay... I'm sorry... It's just, ever since I learned I was a medicine cat, I've been jealous of all of the apprentices and warriors. I've always dreamed about fighting for my clan in battle, though I have to admit I really don't like fighting... but one thing I've always really wanted was to have a mate and watch my kits grow up into strong warriors... but that'll never happen now..."

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@heatherpaw

OOC: I am so so so sorry for the amount of time it took me to respond! I was busy, and lacking muse, and I hope you are still interested in this thread!


Blazepaw immediately turned and padded over to the tom, feeling bad for her earlier blatant comments. She always seemed to find the wrong thing to say, and this didn't seem to be an exception.

"Oh," was all she said, at a loss for words, a rarity for the young she-cat. Instead, she sat down next to him and waited for a long, awkward moment.

Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer.

"Well, at least you have friends, right?" she mewed. "Because you're in camp all the time. That's good, at least," she mewed, trying to lighten the mood.

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(It's okay! I'm glad you're back! ^^)

"Friends?" Cedarpaw thought for a moment. He remembered the she-cat, Snowpaw, but he wasn't sure if they were friends or not. Also Lilypaw, who he only spoke a single word to and returned to his den angrily because she thought he was being too rude. "Not really," he mewed. "I guess I haven't had very many good relationships with other cats."

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"Oh," Blazepaw mewed. Of course. She had sai the wrong thing. Again. Well, maybe she could fix it!

"Well, I don't have any friends either, except for maybe... well... no, no, I don't have any friends. Most cats find me annoying, can you believe it?" she mewed with a giggle. Then an idea sprang into her head. "Hey, we could be friends! Then you wouldn't be lonely, and I wouldn't be bored, and I would have someone to talk to, and maybe I could teach you some fighting and hunting moves, you know, after I learn, because I can't hunt or fight yet because I'm too bouncy, but maybe one day I'll be able to, and yeah," she mewed, cocking her head to one side as she waited for Cedarpaw to respond, already having forgotten her original suggestion.

"Wait, what was I saying again?" she asked, looking up at the sky as though it had the answer.

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"I can't believe that," Cedarpaw mewed, rolling his eyes. "And I never said I was lonely, but I guess we can be friends..." he trailed off. It wasn't exactly the truth, of course he got lonely every once and a while, but his medicine cat duties kept him busy a lot. He had a lot of responsibilities now.

"Hunting and fighting aren't really my thing," he mewed, remembering that time he went hunting with Snowpaw and he hated killing the forest creatures. When Blazepaw forgot what she had said, he couldn't help but to smile.

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"Okay!" she mewed, hardly noticing his annoyed tone, only seeing his amused smile and thinking that maybe he had accepted her as a friend. A friend! She couldn't believe it!

"This is great!" she mewed excitedly, bouncing around again, completely forgetting how annoyed he was with that earlier.

"So, do you want to do something, play a game maybe, or do you need any help with your medicine cat duties, because my mentor says I'm unteachable, but I think I can learn," she mewed happily.

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I can't believe I actually get alone with this she-cat, at least a little bit. Sure, she's annoying and a little forgetful, but her happy mood even makes me a little happier, Cedarpaw thought. This time, he didn't mind the she-cat bouncing around. I can't always be so grumpy, he thought.

"I could show you some basic medicine cat things, just in case you ever need to know them. Maybe you can even impress your mentor. Besides, your mentor will probably tell you some basic things about herbs, later."

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"Really?" Blazepaw squeaked out. "That's great, I'm so excited! Come on, let's go!" she mewed, darting into the den, forgetting to ask if then would be a good time or not.

Eager to start, she dragged a random leaf from a pile back out into the sunlight and laid it at the apprentice's paws.

"What's this?" she asked, cocking her head as she waited for the answer.

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Cedarpaw followed the excited she-cat into his den. The herbs are probably going to need to be sorted again after this... Oh well, they weren't sorted that great, anyways, he thought, looking at some random herbs that were laying around, unsorted. He watched as she took a random herb from a pile and asked what it was. He had to think for a moment before answering.

"Those are borage leaves, which can help lower fever and helps mothers produce milk," he mewed. "Can you impress me? Do you know any of the herbs?" he asked, curios to know if she knew any herbs.