A [Strike] Against the [Heart] (Lunar!)

[ℓυиαя]

"I planned on watching out for you, and were you ever going to tell me?"

The deputy watched him, that strong gaze never faltering even when he broke the searing link between them. The 'I planned on watching out for you' she believed. He was loyal; a fierce defender and righteous tom - of that she had no doubt. What she did doubt was that that would have been all he had done.

The viscous cold that had burnt her on that patrol was enough evidence of that. Never had she seen him so worked up, not with the attack, not with Wildpaw missing. Even his earlier anger at her had been different.

At least there had been fire rather than ice.

At least he was letting her in rather than shutting her out.

'..and were you ever going to tell me?'

She had told him, not directly but it was there. It had been there when he had first approached her after she had been threatened in the look in her eyes and it had been there when she had told him her doubts on the beach that night. Maybe she hadn't wanted to say the words in their fullness, to make it real. Or maybe, his reply had been enough to soothe her nerves. She hadn't wanted Russetfox to come between them on that beach, she hadn't been worth it and she still wasn't. That, coupled with everything else going on in the past moons, Vineheart had had too many other worries about others, forgetting those about herself.

The words in her mind paved the way for when he spoke next, his eyes locking back on hers.

"I can't help you like I need to, if you hide things like this from me, Kitten."

That burning gaze wavered as he called her kitten, as he reminded her that he was there, perhaps comforting her without knowing it. He was right but he wouldn't have to be if Russetfox wasn't the nasty piece of work that she was. That thought, the mention of her name was enough to spike the temperature of her blood again and for her tail to cut at the air. She's not worth it. A breath of air, another. "I tried." I didn't want to make anything about her. "After a while it didn't seem like the most important thing, I had had nothing further to do with her and too many other things going on but then," another sharp snap of that tail and her voice lost her usual gentle quality, "she started on you." That, I will never push aside.

Those the loudest with their threats weren't always the weakest in their actions.

And often it was simply easier to handle things against yourself than it was to see it happen to someone else.

"I don't expect you to do anything, Sandstrike. Nothing is going to happen. Don't sabotage yourself because of her, she's not worth it." Yet even with her words, her eyes sparked and her jaw was tight. It didn't mean she wasn't scared, wasn't angry and annoyed. but she would rather he do the right thing and her be a little on edge than watch him make a mistake because of some ignorant, threat-happy new warrior.

[[Acro.]]

"After a while it didn't seem like the most important thing..."

    ...honestly, Vineheart.

"...but then, she started on you."

He quirked his brow. Did Vineheart think he'd never been threatened? Think his life had never been on the line, at risk, or under scrutiny? No, if Russetfox had only been threatening him, he probably would have laughed in her face and told her he was looking forward to her attempt against him. It was only because this threat was centered on Vineheart that there existed a problem. Sandstrike of course thought--he knew--the tabby could handle herself; he'd seen her do it.

but no one should get away with threatening a Deputy.

With threatening her.

"I don't expect you to do anything, Sandstrike. Nothing is going to happen. Don't sabotage yourself because of her, she's not worth it."

He almost laughed.

but instead he purred, quietly and low in his chest, his eyes dancing impishly as he shook his head at Vineheart in feigned exasperation. "Still don't get it," he sighed almost to himself, dipping his head just enough so that their gazes could meet squarely, on the same level, without him tilting his head down at her. "You," he began emphatically, tones crisp and firm. "You are worth it." He stated this resolutely, as though it were plain fact that the Deputy just never seemed to be grasping. It didn't matter what he did--it didn't matter the consequences.

Because he'd take any punishment for her.

Withstand any suffering if it ensured she could be spared.

This was his job.

This was his life.

He drew his head back to its natural height, tilting it curiously down at her. "Besides," he said with a smirk. "I'm already sabotaged--wouldn't it be better to use the damaged goods?" He was damaged. His paws were dirty. She was unbroken. She was clean. He shrugged. "And just what do you think is going to happen--is Ratstar going to exile me for this thing you're not even sure I might do?"

A joke, but a bold one.

Sandstrike did not actively take advantage of... his closeness with the Clan leader, and she herself  did very little to even acknowledge this bond of theirs... and he didn't often mention or imply that it came with perks, but... honestly, to make his point--what did Vineheart think would happen to him? He lowered his voice then, a different, softer tone edging briefly in, a prying light flickering behind his eyes.

    "Is Russetfox going to hurt me?"

   The real question: "Are you really so afraid for me?"

||-|- Unless you show me how -|-||

[ℓυиαя]

"Still don't get it,"

A pause as her eyes remained locked on his, unwavering, jaw tight.

"You, you are worth it."

That may be so but Vineheart in all her selflessness, would still rather deal with something against her than that force turned on someone else. On one of the few that meant the world to her.

Even if she was only a glimpse in his.

"Besides, I'm already sabotaged--wouldn't it be better to use the damaged goods? And just what do you think is going to happen--is Ratstar going to exile me for this thing you're not even sure I might do?"

Correction: for something she had no doubt he would do. The tom in front of her was too cunning for his own good and he knew it. but she knew he was right, what would Ratstar do to one of her most loyal warriors, a tom she had grown up with? Nothing, the confidence was there in the smirk that ravished his handsome features. That same smirk coaxed out a small one of her own and for the first time in their conversation those tired features lifted so that the scars seemed to disappear, became easy to overlook. Dropping her gaze away from his it swept out over camp looking out over her clanmates and she murmured almost to herself, that small smile still there, "And you tell me that I don't get it." It was the 'damaged goods' that always got taken advantage of, that sacrificed themselves because they thought better them than someone else. Well she didn't think so. If anything, they should be the most treasured of all. They had already proven themselves more in a few moments than another did in their lifetime.

Moving her gaze back to his, that smile softened with a slight tilt to her head. "I think we both know nothing is going to happen no matter what you decide to do, Sandstrike. And I know that whatever I say, you are going to go ahead and do your own thing anyway." A law unto himself. An unstoppable force, that once trained on a particular direction wouldn't stop until it was done, be that total and utter destruction or sparking a smile from tired eyes.

However currently she was in a state where those smiles were no longer long lived, and the with the rate at which he caused them, they disappeared shortly after, washed and eroded away by the stress and worry hammering on her small frame. This time, it was because of the words he spoke next. A reminder of the reality of their conversation, of what it was really about despite the small smile she had stolen earlier.

"Is Russetfox going to hurt me?"

As a rare softeness crept into his voice, the deputy sighed and shook her head once. This time, instead of holding his gaze, golden eyes took in the experienced warrior before her, noting his lean muscle, long legs, confident posture.. and finally those eyes that held a light of some sort sparked by the question presented to her. No, Russetfox would not harm him. If anything, he would barely break a sweat.

Though that knowledge didn't stop the worry that plagued her, the unease and uncertainty.

"Of course not.. but I'm still aloud to worry. Is that so hard for you to understand?" I worry about that more than I do about myself. 

[[Acro.]]

Feeling her take him in, the way her eyes brushed along his figure, Sandstrike's tail curled gently and his chin lifted with a fraction of his pride. He watched her watch him, his eyes steadily on hers while they wandered, there to greet them when they returned.

"Of course not... but I'm still allowed to worry. Is that so hard for you to understand?"

He was quiet... and then he grinned impishly.

"Well... yes, actually," he began, voice low and smooth. Easy. Confident. And maybe, at first, even a little indignant. "Why you would bother with worrying about me after I've explicitly told you not to is beyond comprehension." The tom lifted his tail playfully, his eyes containing his jest as he gazed down at the tabby, brow quirked in its usual fashion. He watched her for a brief moment before the humor left his eyes (leaving his smirk intact), and a shadow of concern subdued his expression, though his voice remained steady and casual. "You look tired, Deputy," he remarked with an inquisitive tilt of his head. The tom's eyes swept the clearing, his tail flicking thoughtfully. "I take it you haven't slept much, with Wildpaw gone." A question disguised as a statement.

Sandstrike knew the answer. It was in her eyes.

Vineheart hid it well, her true exhaustion. but the emptiness she carried was marked by a certain... quality. A shadow. A weight--one he was no stranger to.

One he had witnessed Ratstar pick up and never put down again. It had become a part of her, moons ago, and not a day has passed that Sandstrike has not felt its weight. A dull pain that was simply a part of his life, now. And he simply would not let it happen again.

Not again.

[ℓυиαя]

"Well... yes, actually, why you would bother with worrying about me after I've explicitly told you not to is beyond comprehension." 

This.

This was the Sandstrike she knew and although she was relieved he had returned, other than the smile she had mustered earlier and the tired flicker of another across her lips, she couldn't bring herself to play along. Like everything was OK.

Because it wasn't and she didn't know if it would ever be again.

Her exhaustion must have been obvious to him because something in his eyes changed even though that smirk still curved across his face and his voice still carried its usual casual air. 

"You look tired, Deputy. I take it you haven't slept much, with Wildpaw gone."

Of course he noticed, he was the one she guessed that always would even when she didn't about herself. Her, an open book to him and him forever a mystery to her. Deputy, not kitten, deputy. The formal way he addressed her created an unwanted distance between them and without meaning to, her chin lifted slightly and that gaze strengthened as it remained on his. but it was there, unintentionally for him to see, the clouds of fatigue that threatened to pour and wash her away. Turning her head away as if sensing what had transpired in her gaze, Vineheart pulled her whiskers back.

"I need to find her." So much pain in those few words despite her best wishes, her best interests to keep it away. "I can sleep when she is safe, when we can all sleep safe." Turning back to him slowly, the deputy blinked a nodded to the warrior before her. "On that note, I need to organize patrols for this afternoon. Excuse me." 

Taking a step back, Vineheart shook out her pelt as if to clear the heaviness that clung to her with each day that passed before moving  to head off slowly, her gaze the last to leave him. 

[[Acro.]]

"I need to find her."

The weight of those words resonated in his veins. I know, his eyes whispered back. I know.

"I can sleep when she is safe, when we can all sleep safe."

You can always sleep safe. Didn't she know that?

"On that note, I need to organize patrols for this afternoon. Excuse me."

...excuse me? On that note?

Just who did she think she was--his superior, or something?

Sandstrike watched the tabby turn away from him, his brow quirked in a "you can't be serious" fashion. but then her eyes were gone, and he realized... she was serious. Or, at least, she had convinced herself she was being serious. With long strides, the cinnamon tom easily overtook the Deputy, placing himself firmly in front of her. "Hold on, now," he began, lifting his chin and tilting his head, eyes glinting with both play and gravity. "Not excused, Kitten." No, she most certainly was not. The senior warrior quirked his brow, daring her to challenge him on this.

They were not through.

His eyes flashed again around the clearing, contemplative, before landing squarely back on Vineheart, something behind them... searching. After a brief moment, he spoke again, tone shifting as the subject changed entirely. "...will you come with me?" he asked smoothly, the would-be statement an actual question, this time. He was asking. He didn't want to tell her, knowing she'd likely follow along. He wanted her to say yes when given the blatant option to say no. After a moment's pause, he added, tone a bit lighter, "I promise the patrols will run without you." His gaze was on hers, reaching--needing her to listen. To hear him. I'm asking, it was saying to her. Don't make me tell you.

Sandstrike was not one who asked.

[ℓυиαя]

A part of her knew he would follow

That same part of her hoped he would.

Having no choice but to stop as he positioned his much taller frame in front of her, Vineheart stared up at the sandy warrior, one ear trained on him, the other following sounds around the camp.

"Hold on, now, not excused, Kitten."

Of course she wasn't and though she was the deputy, they both knew she would listen to him, whether that be because of the gravity in his tone or the word of endearment tacked on the end. Kitten, the word that closed the distance it's absence had previously created. Bringing that feathered tail around her body in a slow arc, Vineheart waited for him to continue, wondering what on earth he had left to say. Her eyes left his and wandered the camp and mentally tagged the warriors she would get to join her this time around.

"...will you come with me? I promise the patrols will run without you."

Wait what?

Eyes flashed back to his, to the tom that was asking she go with him. In fact it was that, rather than any of the light joking comments he had made, that almost made her laugh. Almost. This time she had been off, she had expected perhaps another emotional exchange and then she would be off, sorting patrols to find her friend, her sister. Running herself into the ground without even knowing.

Clearly, Sandstrike had something different in mind, which she knew she shouldn't be surprised about. Uncertainty clouded her eyes as she watched him, watched the camp.

Watched him.

'...will you..'

'...come with me?'

'.. I promise.. patrols will run without you..'

'I promise.'

And she knew, without him saying anything at all that if she said no, he would drag her with him anyway. Who had the energy for that? Certainly not the petite tabby with the world on her shoulders. Giving the camp one last glance, Vineheart knew deep down he was right, she was in no state to improve a patrol with her dropping tail and worried eyes. Send out the stronger more optimistic warriors and she would join them when she was in the condition to do so. When she had the energy to do so. Sighing, Vineheart looked back at Sandstrike, and as she blinked, she felt how heavy her eyes were, how every breath felt pressing and seemed to sap the energy from her rather than provide life. She wanted to say something but all she could manage was a little nod.

I'll come with you. Lead the way.

[[Acro.]]

There it was.

His yes.

Nodding in return, the tom flicked his tail as an invitation for Vineheart to follow him, the slender appendage brushing reassuringly against her shoulder as he turned, wasting no time in setting off toward the camp's entrance. He didn't want to give her any unnecessary time in which she might think too hard about her decision and change her mind. Couldn't be having that. His pace was smooth and easy, slower than his usual gait. Typically, he wouldn't bother adjusting his natural speed for the petite tabby--or anybody, for that matter, unless they explicitly requested he do so--but he knew the she-cat was already exhausted. No point in beating her down any further.

The pair exited camp and Otterfrost glanced up from her mouse just in time to see them go, her brow furrowing. She shook her head.

Honestly, that tom.

Sandstrike's paws found their way to the warm sands of SunsetClan's beach with no need of direction--they knew the way. They would find the dunes even if the tom they carried was blind. His paws knew the way. The warrior strode parallel to the surf in the distance, sunlight blazing off of his pelt and shining in his eyes as he glanced back, making sure the Deputy was still with him. He knew where they were going. He wondered if she would figure it out. "I've been where you are, you know," he remarked, tone casual and off-hand as he walked. He shook his head and let out a quiet, dry laugh, muttering "I've been there and further," before saying more clearly, "I know what this feels like."

This was her heaviness.

This was her helplessness.

This was her exhaustion. Her fear.

    This was her need to keep going--keep trying--even if it meant destroying herself. Her everything.

        This was her doing anything to bring back the someone she loved.


This... yes. Yes, he had been there.

[ℓυиαя]

OOC: I just wanted to let you know, I ATTEMPTED to write this in BBCode and then view it in preview but I failed. On a scale from 1 to even, I just can't lel *throws up hands* I'm done :3

As the toms thin tail brushed along her shoulders, Vineheart followed the feeling even when there was no longer any contact. Spurring her body into motion, Vineheart padded along beside him, sinking comfortably into the quiet that surrounded the two. She noticed his change in pace from his usual brisk gait to a meander for the tom, which no doubt classified as a jog for anyone else.

Nevertheless, the thoughtful gesture was there and Vineheart appreciated it.

As sand began to find its way underneath her paws, the deputy cast her eyes out over the sea, the treasure that let her know she was home. The salt that dressed the air settled around her and she found herself lifting her nose to the air and inhaling its familiar scent. She wondered if wherever Wildpaw was, she could still see it, still smell it and know home wasn't far away.

"I've been where you are, you know."

That tired yet kind gaze drew from the sea to him who stood between her and the vast body of water. Though his tone was casual, Vineheart knew that there was something more was there, even if it didn't rear its head.

"I've been there and further," A muttered comment that briefly let her catch a glimpse of his experience, a slightly crack in his exterior. In the usual impenetrable tom. "I know what this feels like." And she believed him. This wasn't him telling her what numerous others would to make her feel better, to get her chin up and her tail high.

This was him letting her know she wasn't alone. That this wasn't impossible.

As she kept pace beside him, Vineheart studied Sandstrike carefully. The tom that had been there through every difficult situation in the last dozen moons regardless of whether it was her life threatened or someone elses. The tom that was here now.

       but who had been there for him?

He could have been talking about any time in his life but for her, one rang loud and clear. Casting her mind back, to a time before she had ever spoken to the handsome tom, Vineheart recalled the horror of the bird's attack. She had only been young at the time, too young to help fight the flying monstrosities. but he had been there hadn't he? Right at the forefront, right there to take any blow and any pain that would have wreaked someone weaker, someone less experienced. He had stood against them yet Ratstar had still be swiped out from under their noses. Anyone that had grown up in Sunsetclan knew there was something strong between Sandstrike and the leader, yet what it was exactly was hard to tell. 

Vineheart only wished she could have been the one to be there for him as he was now for her, as he always seemed to be for her.

That gaze turned thoughtful as it moved off to the sand before her, watching as each grain was showered in sunlight and then blurred with her shadow. "And you went through it alone.. that is not someone I would wish on anyone." What if it had been him, her rock, that was missing? It had been painful enough with his cold withdrawl.

Turning her head back to him, Vineheart gave a small shake of her head. She didn't want him to close up on her, not now. Maybe she could be there for him now, maybe it could help them both. "How did you do it?"

[[Acro.]]

ooc:// Lunar does her research. >BD

"And you went through it alone... that is not something I would wish on anyone."

One ear was trained back toward the she-cat, but the tom kept his eyes forward, reminding himself not to go too deeply back into his memories.

    No. No, he wouldn't wish that on anyone, either.

"How did you do it?"

A quiet question. A reaching question. He could practically feel her words crawling through his fur, through his skin, into his ears--burrowing, looking for any way in. Looking for any opening in order to just see him better. And he could let her. He could almost just let her see everything--everything he was, and everything that had made him that way.

but he was a dangerous cat to unfold, and so this "could almost" would never be a "did." He wouldn't let her see him--not everything. There was too much. but... some things.

Maybe some things.

Sandstrike glanced briefly toward the Deputy from his peripheral, his smirk held dutifully but the gesture not reaching his eyes. He brought his gaze forward again, flicking his tail with indifference toward Vineheart's question. How had he done it? Simple. "I didn't," he remarked casually, shrugging mid-stride. Typically, he'd stop there, let her press him more if she wanted and then still not give her much in the way of an answer... but, be it the sun against the sand or the nature of the salt from the sea or the she-cat's pervasive exhaustion, the tom paused only briefly and then kept going without prompting. His words should have been solemn, given their weight... but from Sandstrike, they were deceptively easy; defiantly calm. "I lost, Kitten." There. A plain, stark truth. The tom's eyes were distant now, his tones steadily maintained. "I really did: my head, my pride--my self-control." That may have been the hardest part: living day-in and day-out in a burning, red haze, never sure of who he was hurting or why. Never sure of time passing... but always sure of the pain.

"Otterfrost knows," he added, a bit less... nonchalantly. "I... well." He laughed dryly, the sound detached and cold. "I attacked another Clan's apprentice--a loud-mouthed little tom--at a Gathering," he explained, letting the words drip from his mouth before he could change his mind. "Or, I honestly tried to. Otterfrost stopped me--I attacked her, instead." He glanced sidelong at Vineheart, watching her carefully in that instant, wondering how she would take this information. How would she react, once he told her how--

"I would have killed him, Vineheart."

See me, now?

 

[ℓυиαя]

"I didn't." 

The comment was casual and for a moment, the tabby deputy thought that was all she was going to get from the tom. Gazing at him quietly over the golden grains that separated them, Vineheart didn't try and push him to talk further. but then she realized she didn't have to.

"I lost, Kitten. I really did: my head, my pride--my self-control."

Spoken as if he was merely talking about patrols for the next day. Not that his whole world had once been ripped apart, turned upside down and left out for the vultures. His self control -- was something she had never seen the tom lose, even looking back to times where she thought it impossible not to do so.

When they had been trapped in that twoleg nest - a quiet negotiator.

        When she had almost died - she had seen emotion but he had never lost his control.

                   When Russetpaw had threatened him - well she had seen the effects on that. but even his cold anger hadn't been what he now described.

How strong was his love for Ratstar that he lost control when so many other times he hadn't? Her heart sank a little in her chest as she considered this, roving over the tom before her yet never losing that gentle imploring property. This was not about her, this was not about Ratstar, this was about him.

"Otterfrost knows, I... well. I attacked another Clan's apprentice--a loud-mouthed little tom--at a Gathering. Or, I honestly tried to. Otterfrost stopped me--I attacked her, instead."

An unfamiliar laugh left the tom causing her brow to furrow at the coldness that followed, yet her eyes never left him, never stopped trying to see him as he continued to talk. Though eyes widened slightly as he spoke of Otterfrost, she guessed that would explain the bond she had seen between him and the younger warrior, why he had seemed to let her closer while keeping Vineheart out with an impenetrable cold. Otterfrost had seen another side of him and Vineheart, well she was only just being shown now.

"I would have killed him, Vineheart."

The stark and unexpected confession from the tom had her eyes dropping away from him, her chest tightening, as she considered the weight of his words, the desperation that would have lead him to such anger and frustration. The tom that walked beside her had attacked an apprentice at a gathering and he would have killed him. How could the protective warrior before her ever attack a younger weaker apprentice?

Desperation,               helplessness,            pain,              anger,              frustration,              confusion

That's how. A destructive cocktail of poisonous emotions that struck every cat differently, that was plaguing her now. For the sandy warrior beside her, she knew that hadn't been him and she only needed to look to her left to know that. She only needed to remember how since he had come looking for her that fateful day, he had stood by her, had protected her.

Even when nobody did for him.

And so, the small tabby found herself not saying something in fear or disappointment, in anger or accusation but rather in understanding and acceptance. "but you didn't." Eyes once more looked up and over to him. "And whether that was because Otterfrost was there or not, that doesn't change how I think of you." A pause as she blinked up at him, something changing in that gaze. "I wasn't there but I know you saved my life and I wont - I can't - believe that you intended to hurt him thinking clearly."

For Sandstrike, Vineheart was just glad that Otterfrost had been there in time because the Sandstrike she knew, would never have forgiven himself. She needed to thank the chocolate warrior when she returned, thank her for preventing him, for enabling him to walk away knowing he hadn't hurt the apprentice. Even if deep down, he knew he would have. 

[[Acro.]]

"but you didn't. And whether that was because Otterfrost was there or not, that doesn't change how I think of you."

    Well it should, was his first thought.

    You're too good for this world, was his second.

"I wasn't there but I know you saved my life and I won't - I can't - believe that you intended to hurt him thinking clearly."

He quirked his brow. She sounded so sure--so resolute in her faith that Sandstrike would not, in fact, have injured that apprentice.

Thinking clearly.

That was the key phrase. Because he hadn't been thinking clearly. His brief moment of clarity came after he'd pinned Otterfrost with his claws to the ground, his fangs hovering a breath away from her throat, his eyes wild, his blood a frenzy... He often thanked StarClan for that singular moment of mental consciousness, and he was sure Otterfrost did the same.

What sort of cat would he be, now, if that night had gone differently? If Otterfrost had reacted an instant too late, or had been any ounce less courageous. If he'd been lost just a moment too long. Who would he be...? Would he even still be, at all?

The tom blinked back to the present as their destination became more obvious, a looming mass edged by sun and sand, its gaping mouth inviting them to step inside. The Cavern was hungry--they'd be feeding it shortly. He spoke again to Vineheart without looking her way, his voice maintaining its casual lilt and easy tones. "You ought to think at least a little differently of me," he remarked plainly, flicking his tail. "Otherwise, I'll need to believe you missed the point of my charming little anecdote." He was now approaching the entrance to the Sun Cavern, warm, golden light exuding from what one might expect to be a dark interior. It wasn't called "Shadow Cavern" for good reasons. He hesitated at the threshold, tilting his head to peer at the Deputy, his gaze weighted while his words were light. "I didn't do anything except fall," he explained flatly. "And I had to rely on others to look out for me--to keep me from truly losing everything, after I'd thought everything had been lost."

    Otterfrost.

        Fallowmist.

Without those two... he may never have seen Ratstar's return.

This is what Sandstrike was doing for Vineheart now: keeping her from breaking before she needed any real fixing.

He nodded to the Cavern entrance. "After you."

[ℓυиαя]

"You ought to think at least a little differently of me, otherwise, I'll need to believe you missed the point of my charming little anecdote." 

Her head cocked to the side as she considered his words, finally coming to a stop with him outside of the sun cavern, bathed in light that clung to her fur.

That for the moment, chased the darkness away.

Watching him, Vineheart saw the heaviness in his eyes which spoke more about his thoughts than his words ever would. It showed her that despite the facade the charming tom put up, despite the grin he always presented when faced with something he didn't want to talk about, that this still haunted him.

He may have gotten help getting through it but not over it.

For that, he was left to himself.

"I didn't do anything except fall, and I had to rely on others to look out for me--to keep me from truly losing everything, after I'd thought everything had been lost."

The air left her on a quiet sigh as her ears flattened in concern for Sandstrike, for the tom that had never before shown such vulnerability, such openness in her presence, but it wasn't unwelcome and it never would be. What hurt her the most was that he had felt like he had to hide it, that he had locked it tight in a place no one could see. Being a social cat herself, Vineheart couldn't think of anything more suffocating, yet that is what she assumed he had done, those that had been there had seen. Other than that?

It had never happened.

The sadness of the whole situation hit her hard, herself wondering how she would cope without the supportive presence of the sandy tom, well now that he was back anyway. What if this was all on her, what if it was her against the world and she was slipping? What then?

"After you."

Blinking, Vineheart cleared the pressing questions that pressed down on her, pushing them away. It was hard, her mind already strained from her fatigue and worry but as she moved forward and took up his offer, it made it easier. Making her way into the sun cavern the more sun she received and the tired tabby found herself purring softly in contentedness, for the first time in many moons. Whose idea had it been to come here again? Well whoever's it had been, it was a marvellous idea and exactly what she had needed. If she had been left to her own devices, it was something which would have never been done.

Making her way into the center of a bright patch of light, Vineheart turned to see if he was following and unintentionally ended up lying down, stretching herself out in the blissful warmth. It soothed parts of her that had been cold for too long, parts she had gotten used to lying in shadow. "You are allowed to rely on others from time to time, Sandstrike. Think of all the times you have been there for others." For me. Her gaze was soft as it followed him and almost seemed the colour of the warm sun that streamed through the entrance.

"They intervened because they cared, because.. they cared too much to see you fall." As do I.

[[Acro.]]

ooc:// ℓυиαя <3

Sandstrike hung back at the entrance, watching Vineheart make her way into the Cavern, sunlight welcoming her, embracing her, relishing her company. Warmth drew her in, and he could see how it lulled her--soothed the parts of her she did not know were aching. Made her comfortable--made her warm again. She was coming back to life; to light. The tom smiled, his expression gentle and then gone before she could turn to see. A secret. His.

He followed her inside.

"You are allowed to rely on others from time to time, Sandstrike. Think of all the times you have been there for others."

but that was his life--didn't she see? He was a warrior. His life was meant for others. For the Better. For the Greater. Yes, it belonged to him... but it had never been his to keep for himself.

"They intervened because they cared, because... they cared too much to see you fall."

The cinnamon warrior quirked his brow, striding leisurely toward the spot Vineheart had chosen to rest. Back then... by the time anybody even had a chance to try and catch him, he had already fallen so far. It was darkness, for him. All darkness, and a hungry anger that had tried its hardest to drag everything down with him. It was a wonder the Clan was still standing.

Smirking out of his own thoughts, Sandstrike paused a few tail-lengths away from the Deputy and tilted his head, his eyes taking her in. Stretched out in the sunlight, framed against the already-warm sand and smooth stone of the cavern's floor, light in her eyes... This.

This is what he was trying to save.

This she-cat before him, her eyes on him as his were on her--this was the precious thing Sandstrike felt compelled to preserve. To shield from a world that only wanted to weigh itself against her--a world that could not let something so beautiful last for so long. Vineheart's compassion, her courage, her quiet strength... they would harden and be lost in a world that could be as cold as theirs. Sandstrike was already to blame for the encroaching shadows, the subtle fear, he saw lining her face--a face she fought with, struggling to see beyond the scars on its surface. It had been his fault, but he would not let her bend, or surrender, to that darkness.

He would be there to catch her.

Realizing he had fallen quiet for perhaps a moment too long, the tom flicked an ear and at last looked away, taking in the solitude of the Cavern. This is where she hurt Fallowmist, he was thinking to himself, envisioning Wildpaw tooth and claw against her mentor, his brother... but, despite the garish image, the Cavern was no less welcoming for him. He doubted it ever could be. "Right," he said at last with a decisive nod, trotting closer to the she-cat to stand nearly over her, smirking down at her. "Like you said: they cared. Which is why I'm intervening now, with a mandatory nap for the Deputy." He dipped his head to meet Vineheart's eyes more evenly, his whiskers stretching forwards and nearly brushing her nose, a challenge behind his eyes. "Go on, then. Sleep now."

"Sleep now," like it was just some instantaneous event that could be triggered with a word.

[ℓυиαя]

"Right."

Eyes heavy with shadows tracked him as the selfless warrior made his way to stand over her, nothing less than that smirk on his face. It was an expression she had grown used to seeing around camp, strange that something that was so important to her now was once hidden around the camp. It would have always been there knowing Sandstrike, yet never directed at her like it was nowadays. Now it made her world a little brighter despite it all.

"Like you said: they cared. Which is why I'm intervening now, with a mandatory nap for the Deputy. Go on, then. Sleep now."

Looking up at him to keep eye contact, Vineheart's eyes widened slightly, though not in surprise, and a small tired smile dressed the she cat beneath the scars, silent laughter behind golden doors. "Sandstrike, are you..." a cheeky flick of that tail against the warm sand, "putting me to bed?" He was so close to her now that his long whiskers almost brushed her nose and she didn't pull away. As she spoke, thought's flashed back to that night not unlike this one; the two of them on the beach, her heart heavy, brain confused and fur laden with sand. It both seemed like yesterday and a lifetime ago.

How much heavier the shadows had got since then.

Though she joked at him, Vineheart had to admit the nap was tempting and it was as if the moment he had mentioned it sleep had broken down the walls of her consciousness, tempting and oh so close. Bring her tail in around her, Vineheart curled up in the brilliant patch of warm light, tucking that plumed appendage over her paws and nose, peering over it with large golden eyes from a dark tabby coat. "If I sleep then, you sleep. Fair is fair." And Starclan knew the older warrior had been running himself into the ground too. While Vineheart got the idea that the whole idea of this was to make her sleep and refuel, she wanted them to both get something out of this and she knew, that around the camp while there were things to keep him busy, he wouldn't take the time out for himself. "Go on then. Sleep now." Using his own command against him, Vineheart waited from him to join her before she considered closing her eyes against the great weight that pressed them.