Ice under ground (tagged)

[Echo]

OOC: Icestorm 

Birdheart went in search of her mate for help burying the deceased Icestorm. They would find a nice place for her, maybe even grab a few flowers and make her burial pretty. Then Birdheart would talk to Thornfur about... a few things. It had been a hectic afternoon for her and many thoughts raced through the queens head.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur was resting in the warriors den when he heard the yowls of a queen giving birth. His memory went back to try and remember who was close to giving birth. The only that popped in his head was Icestorm. He had met the she-cat a couple times, but the queen had been so timid. Her first mate had cracked her shell at least. He had to give her credit for even making it that far.

The large warrior made his way some time later out into the clearing. His paws stopping him as he stared at the bloody body of Icestorm. The memory of his sister hitting him hard. It was too similar, he felt a shiver run down his spine. He spotted his mate as she began to search for something or someone.

"Birdheart," He called out as he approached her, "What- what happened?"

[Echo]

Birdheart looked at her mate, the dead body carefully held in her jaw. The quick jerk of her head to look up caused her to become unbalanced on her three legs. She dropped the body and fell right on top of it. Her heavy belly made her weight smash into Icestorm and most likely break a few bones. She quickly stood up and looked at her fur. Nothing too bad, just a bit of blood got on her. She then examined the body, and sure enough Icestorm looked a little more flat than before. Birdheart apologized quickly, then looked back at her mate.

"Thornfur! The most terrible thing happened. Icestorm had six healthy kits, which was wonderful, but she didn't make it! Poppyshine has taken the kits on, but now we need to bury Icestorm and..." She trailed off. What more was their to say? She had died, the only thing they can do now is make her a memorial and remember her in their minds. Without another word, Birdheart grabbed Icestorm again and waited for her mate to come and pick up some of the weight.

[Icestorm]

OOC: It wasn't her body you crushed but my heart.

Thornfur watch as Birdheart fell, his breath caught in his throat, but before he could help her she was already up and trying to explain what happened. He looked down to the once quiet queen. It was sad really. Six kits, without a mother. Then his head snapped up, "Poppyshine took on the six kits?"

He knew exactly why she had done it, but still. Was it wise of her to do that? She would be stuck in the nursery longer and now have eight kits. How would her kits even feel about it? They seemed to be pretty bitter kits as it was.

The large tom looked to his mate with sad eyes. This was hitting too close to home for him. His clan mate dead, his expecting mate carrying her dead body. "Let's bury Icestorm. Come on." He said moving to replace Birdheart. The last thing he wanted to see was her moving the dead queen and falling again.

[Echo]

Birdheart nodded and grabbed her side of Icestorm. Once they had buried her well and left flowers and good wishes at her grave, Birdheart seriously needed to tell her mate about how weird it felt to react so drastically over an almost complete stranger. Not that she shouldn't have felt anything towards the death of a clanmate, but to be crying and throwing a fit was not like her. She was scared about ever losing another kit now. So scared...

[Icestorm]

"Birdheart," Thornfur would have continued with his question if could. but watching his mate carry a dead queen so close to having their third litter had hit him hard. Their streak for kits wasn't very good, so far only Thrushpaw and Antpaw were around still. They had lost so many. So many kits. His first son Owlkit even. Birdheart knew how much their deaths impacted the tom, and he was sure she was right there with him. Not only was he worried about their future kits, but what about Birdheart? What if she has complications too? His sister, and now Icestorm. This fear was always with him though, with every litter. The first one had been the scariest for him but what about now, now that they just buried Icestorm? His fear was for her as well. He was sure he couldn't lose anyone else.

As the large tom looked to his smaller mate he could see the invisible weight on her shoulders too. He leaned up against her, trying to offer any support he could. It seemed they were both worried. He moved to lick behind her ear.

[Echo]

OOC: I think you just said they already dug Icestorm, so I will just pretend you definitely did and yeah

After placing one last flower on Icestorms grave, Birdheart let out a loud sigh and leaned onto her mate. She looked at her ground, thinking of what to say.
"Thornfur, I am terrified. Why are we bringing kits into this harsh world when we are surrounded by death? All that happens is death. Death, death, and more damn death. You know what happened today when Icestorm died? I cried. I felt an extreme inner pain. I know that's normal, but I don't know Icestorm that well and I reacted so drastically! I think all the emotional stress of our luck with kits is catching up to me. And I don't know what will happen if another one..." she trailed off, the blank could easily be filled in.

[Icestorm]

OOC: Oh I'm so sorry I wrote that multitasking/writing a paper. My bad.

The large felt his chest tighten with Birdheart's words. He moved to rest his head on top of her own. "Our kits will be the future one day. They will run through the trees. Just look at Thrushpaw and Antpaw." The large tom thought of his two living sons again. They worked hard to fight the odds, and they were making it. Thornfur was proud of them, they were his pride and joy. All his kits were, but he only had two to show for it really.

"We aren't going to lose anyone else," the tom said gruffly in attempt to comfort both of them. "I refuse to sit by and let that happen. Not anymore. Not again." Thornfur meant it too. No way could he let something happen.

[Echo]

Birdheart took a deep breath and let it out in a large sigh.
"I hope to starclan that's the truth. I don't know how much more either of us can take. I just don't understand why we seem to be almost... cursed? We have two lovely living sons, but they are all we have to show for two litters. I feel like Starclan forgets us sometimes..." She trailed off, thinking about the warrior code and starclan and how loyal she wanted to be to them but how much she felt something was wrong.

OOC: Hint hint wink wink she is starting to think

[Icestorm]

OOC: Why must you kill my heart every time. She is breaking mine, and completely shattered Thornfur's.

Cursed? The large tom had to admit he wondered the same thing. Maybe something was wrong. but in his heart he knew his kits were watching over them. He wanted to make them all proud, every one of them. He often wondered how Owlkit was doing. Was he taking care his younger siblings? Would he watch over his now older brothers? What about this litter? Sometimes Thornfur wished he could just talk with the young kit. Just to say a proper good-bye. Maybe ask how he and the others were doing?

Thornfur looked to his mate. As much as he wanted to give in the sorrow, he knew it would only suck him back in. He was already there once. If it wasn't for Birdheart he still might be there. She refused to let him slip into the darkness and he would do the same for her. "We can't afford to think like that. Starclan watchs us. All of us. Even our kits watch us. I won't let them down. I will live for them and for these kits. I will give my life to protect them. Above all else. They will survive beyond us."

[Echo]

Birdheart looked into the sky. She had one more thing to tell her mate before they returned to camp so she could stand vigil. She was looking at starclan. Every time she blinked she imagined her kits standing there. She closed her eyes tightly and saw them all lined up. She focused on Owlkit. Without saying a word, she asked him for permission. Permission to name a kit in memorial of his name, just as Poppyshine had done with Stormkit.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur looked to his mate as she closed her eyes. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he could only hope they were good thoughts. He let out a purr to his mate. Starclan help them with this litter and Icestorm's. They were all going to need it.

"Do you want to start back to the camp and stand vigil for Icestorm? I'll stay with you." The large warrior hated the idea of standing vigil alone. He wouldn't be able to do it. The pain of being alone was always too much for him to handle.

[Echo]

Birdheart nodded slowly. She opened her eyes and the vision of her kit vanished. Now with each blink just came a millisecond of darkness - once again disconnected. She started walking to camp and worked her thoughts out in her head. Someday she would visit her kit in a dream. Her and Thornfur could travel to the skyfield. Maybe they could even bring their [live] kits. Big family dream.