To be Young and Free (Golden/Open)

[Midnight]

My Warriors writing is rusty.

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Leaf-fall had hit hard and fast, and it was leaving as soon as it had come. The Clans had seen the first frost of the year only a few days before, and knowing that snowy days meant more time in the nursery, Dovekit was desperate to play outside as much as possible.

For several hours (since dawn, to be exact), Dovekit had been pouncing on leaves and rolling around in the dirt. To say her pelt was dirty was a large understatement, and really, Dovekit wanted to look nothing less than disgusting. Dovekit had always felt that looking dirty was akin to being a warrior - older, unafraid of a messy coat, powerful, hardly bothering to flinch at wounds acquired from their Clan's great territory. Truthfully, the young she-cat never felt closer to her ancestors than when she'd spent a day roughhousing around outside, practicing her skills and getting down to nature.

An evening hunting patrol returned to camp, and Dovekit trotted over to the fresh-kill pile. She was about to pick something out when she felt the vibrations of another cat nearing. Ears swiveling, Dovekit looked around for the approaching feline.

[Deleted]

So much to do, and so much had changed! It seemed that Mothcloud had been gone for more moons than she had expected, and in that time the camp was not the way she remembered leaving it. Not at all. The painstaking work and organization she had committed to had long since gone. All dens now seemed to be in dire need for more adjusting under her supervision. The leaves, the leaves were all over the place, scattered in messy heaps towards the middle of the clearing. Had any cat thought to clear it? To push it neatly to the side? No, no, no, it was all wrong! So wrong- and wait, the fresh kill pile, it was over too much to the left side of the clearing now. What was wrong with these cats?! Did they not understand order? How could they be content living in this mess of a camp? How did they survive without her here to make sure everything was perfectly where it should be and constantly looked after? Oh dear… she had much work to do. Much, much work to do!

The dark tortoiseshell seemed to pace uneasily around the clearing as if not sure where she was going. Her disoriented stagger only continued with each item she seemed to find that was out of place, but just as she would go to fix it, something else would distract her in its place. She couldn’t decide what bothered her more and what was more important; every detail seemed to be the most important of all! After much debating and inward struggle, she finally managed a resolve that she couldn’t stand where the fresh-kill pile lay. If she didn’t fix it first, it would surely come back to haunt her in her nightmares.

The she-cat rose and headed swiftly towards the disarrayed pile. She could see the back-side of a kit who was standing close by it, but it wasn’t until she drew closer that she noticed the kit clearly. “Excuse-“
Mothcloud’s meow cut off in a look of absolute shock and horror as she stared down at the small kit whose disheveled fur was covered in dirt and debris. Covered in... filth, from nose to tail-tip! Her tail curled down and her mouth opened, then closed in complete disbelief. Oh Starclan, what was happening to this clan?! Were the kits now living in such horrid conditions?! Without Mothcloud around, they had surely seemed to suffer the worst possible fate, next to death. Untidyness!

“I- you… your fur, it’s… -you poor kit! Does no one bathe you?! This is unspeakable! I can’t…" The she-cat had struggled to get her words out all at once and her ear had twitched back. All she could see was a furry ball of dirt, standing in front of her. “-Hold still!” Unable to fight the urge any longer, she sat close and was attempting to groom the kit herself. What excuse of a clan were they, with furry little dust balls running around posing as kits? No, it was unacceptable! She just couldn’t stand it!

[Flight of the Thunderbird]

Ooc-Muse is low but I'll try
Sleekpaw padded over. Mothcloud seemed to be very, very suprised and shocked, and now she seemed to be grooming someting beside her.
As Sleekpaw padded closer, he realized what that "something" was.
"By StarClan! Is that Dovekit or is it a dirt ball?"Sleekpaw gasped.
Being clean was a must to Sleekpaw. He was famed among the apprentices for his glossy, shiny coa anyway.
but Dovekit was a whole other story.
Her fur was a mess, and it was covered in dust. Black dust, grey dust, brown dust, even red dust! Her whiskers were sticking everywhere, and we only just got started!
Sitting beside Mothcloud, he asked "Need help?"

[Midnight]

Dovekit turned and crouched in fear as the tortoiseshell she-cat began rambling to her about her coat condition. "I-I was just playing." Dovekit squeaked, her eyes widening. Dovekit let out a shocked hiss as the older cat crouched to wash her. "Who are you? Are you even a MidnightClanner? What if you're an intruder? Don't touch me, I don't know you!" Dovekit spat, backing away until her tail hit the fresh-kill pile. She leaped in the air, messy pelt fluffing up. Looking back at the crazy old cat, Dovekit tried to bolt, but Sleekpaw sat beside the weird tortoiseshell, blocking the young kitten's path.

"NO! She doesn't need any help! I don't even know who she is and she just came over here and started washing me! Leave me alone - I don't need a perfectly clean coat. I'm still Dovekit no matter what I look like," Dovekit yowled, her tail lashing. What right did Sleekpaw have? Just because he was a vain piece of dung didn't mean Dovekit was.

What was this? Clean day? Was there some big all-Clan event going on that everyone was invited to and had to be clean for? Since when did warriors care about being clean? What kind of warrior minded a bit of dirt? Confusion was making Dovekit dizzy; all this time, she'd thought that warriors didn't really care about looking dirty, because it made them look like they were too into their duties to bother with their coats, but now she was starting to wonder. Burning with embarrassment, Dovekit glanced at her flank, trying to decide if she should clean it or not. One thing that she definitely knew was that she didn't need some insane warrior and appearance-obsessed apprentice to help her with cleaning her own darned coat.

[Flight of the Thunderbird]

"Whoa!" Sleekpaw jumped back in shock and hurt. Sure, he was delicate, but how could he let this kit's harsh tone hurt him? Oh right. He was really delicate and sensitive. Great. Now "She doesn't need your help!" would be stuck in his head. Sleekpaw really didn't want to talk to Dovekit, in fear she would snap at him again, but he crouched down to Dovekit's level and said gently, "Look, Dovekit. I used to hate baths and brought dirt everywhere, but guess what? My mother started washing me, and when she was done, I looked like I got drenched in a storm! So I learned to like baths. Bringing a little dirt around is okay, but you gotta clean yourself when you get this dirty, okay?" Crouching down a little more so he could whisper in Dovekit's ear, he said,"Mothcloud is a MidnightClan warrior. She has been away for a while, and, err, she's a little tidious. Don't mind her. And you know, if she doesn't bath you, your mom will! Better sooner than later, right? And if you don't need my help, please don't snap at me like that, you know how I'm delicate. We were friends in the nursery, Dovekit, I hope we could be friends now!" Sleekpaw was only recently made into a apprentice at the age of 7 moons (he still was 7 moons) so he spent time in the nursery with Dovekit for a while. "And, you never know, Dovekit, Mothcloud might just be your mentor!" Sleekpaw smiled warmly and padded to join his littermates at the apprentices den,

[Deleted]

Mothcloud had hardly noticed when another practically-kit approached, too absorbed in doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING to get Dovekit’s pelt under control. The dirt… ugh how it bothered her so. She would not be able to ignore such a state. She also would not have recognized Sleekpaw, having been gone for so long. She would have just missed the kit’s birth by a moon or so. It seemed there were many young faces she had missed during that time.

She did however, cringe visibly at the word “dirt ball” as it was voiced aloud. What a horrible word, why must dirt even exist, let alone the imagery of a dirt ball? It made her all the more desperate to get rid of this dirt, once and for all.

However, Dovekit was hissing and backing away from her, making it difficult for the she-cat to even get close. “Stand still, stand still! Do you want to track dirt all over the moss in the dens? Do you enjoy being so… unclean?!” She then looked surprised when the kit began answering the other young cat. Her tail drooped, slightly hurt when the kit mentioned she didn’t even know who she was. Well of course she didn’t, Mothcloud hadn’t realized how it must seem, having not been around for the she-kit to have even been born. The she-kit knew nothing of her! It hit Mothcloud most in the fact that she should have been here, straightening the dens, supervising and organizing the camp, but instead outside matters had gotten a hold of her and prevented her from returning. She was tortured by the reminder that now she would have to catch up for moons of lost time, not to mention her current role in the clan…

She opened her mouth again in horror at the last statement. “Of course you need a perfectly clean coat! Who told you otherwise?! Was it Bramblestar? Bramblestar is lying, he just doesn’t like it when I try to fix his fur, is all!” the dark tortoiseshell replied with wide eyes. A cat who liked dirt?! A cat... who liked dirt?! Why, this was unspeakable! How could any cat like being dirty? Mothcloud had nightmares that consisted of her with fur that would never clean of debris, and of dens that would never be cleared.

“Yes yes, I’m sure I have this handled by myself,” She replied immediately to the two young cats. Of course, there was also the fact that she felt cleaning had to be done a certain way, and one that only she knew how. It was hard to be comfortable not knowing if something was entirely clean, and a kits pelt was no exception.

(“Mothcloud is a MidnightClan warrior. She has been away for a while, and, err, she's a little tidious.“)

“Deputy-“ Mothcloud began to correct in a chirp, and then her ear flicked and tail swung a little as she realized her mistake, “Former… deputy...” Yes, that was a touchy subject with her. In her mind, there was no cat better suited for deputy than she. Who had been organizing the camp all this time? Who knew how to get cats moving, to clean, and what to clean and when? Who knew order more than everything else? Mothcloud, that was who. It not only upset her to find that a new deputy had taken her place and would not step down, but also anxious. She missed her role, but also feared that things were not being done properly. And if they weren’t being done properly, than who was left to fix it? Her.

“And just look at how this camp has fallen under the new deputy! This would have never happened if I were here, every kit would be perfectly clean and every den spotless!” She muttered to herself under her breath, as if it was Ashstep’s fault that the kit refused to be clean. Some may have assumed that she might have wanted to blame Bramblestar, partly for making such a ‘poor choice’ in deputy role and for making it her place, but on the contrary she felt that he had did what he could in her absence. A missing deputy slot would have been unthinkable! Sure, she thought this new deputy was horrible at her job in comparison to Mothcloud's constantly on-top ways, no matter how hard Ashstep might try or what cats say otherwise, but the truth was in her mind that Bramblestar had had no choice because Mothcloud was not around, and she refused to think that any cat would match to herself in organization. Now that she was back though, she did kind of feel irked that Bramblestar would not demote Ashstep to allow her to return to her previous role that gave her much free reign to organize. Maybe in the clans eyes she had disappeared by choice and was not to be trusted? However, Mothcloud was still desperately trying to repress the moons she spent forced into a tiny, rotting twoleg nest, too small for even two twolegs to stand in, and left with no way out. To her, it was not a choice. Had she escaped sooner, this demotion might have never taken place.

“Ashstep’s a furbrained choice for a deputy. Out of every cat, Starclan forbid the dirt around has never been higher, you could make a whole clan of cats out of the filth,” She muttered again under her breath with a lashing tail. She had no idea how odd she probably looked as she muttered to herself for such a long period. It had stopped being odd to her through the past several moons, where only her own voice had kept her from insanity among the nest. She had found herself talking to herself aloud way too often, without realizing. First it was simply to calm her down, then it was to hear a voice, any voice, even if it was her own. Slowly though, it had spiraled. She had actually had legit conversations out loud with imagined clanmates on instances.
"Mothcloud is a great deputy, Mothcloud is so much better than Ashstep, I'm so much better than Ashstep! Does Ashstep know how to clean the dens properly? Nooo.... and she doesn't even know where to put prey either, this is not acceptable! I should tell Bramblestar this," Mothcloud ranted and mumbled under her breath. "Maybe then he will promote me. Perhaps he will?"

[Deleted]

A chocolate brown she-cat's eyes flickered curiously and she watched a dark tortoiseshell she-cat scamper around. Very little did Nutflower remember of this cat. The only thing was how much she despised Mothcloud of her tidy ways. but then again, she was only a kit then. Nutflower decided to greet the former deputy. Perhaps they would come to know each other better? Why in the world was she's trying to know this cat better? What was wring with her. Nutflower pushed her doubtful thoughts aside and padded up to Mothcloud. Her eyes sparkled with undeniable sympathy. Nutflower did not think cleaning the camp till it was all the way clean was a good idea. It was a waste of time, but picking up here and there was a good idea, now that Nutflower though about it. "Mothcloud? Do you remember me? I left MidnightClan when I was an apprentice," she asked.

[Deleted]

Mothcloud was torn out of her muttered self-rants when another cat approached. She squinted her eyes, as if trying to remember. Yes, this cat was somewhat familiar, but no she was sure she had not seen this she-cat before leaving. This feeling tore her up a little on the inside, as she had always strived to make sure she knew every cats name upon being named deputy. Had she forgotten this cat? No, no, impossible! She hadn't been gone that long... a year in moons at the most, perhaps, but nonetheless she was certain she wouldn't have forgotten!

"I-" She stammered, but then the introduction seemed to jog some part of her memory. Of course, there weren't many cats who just up an left a clan, and regardless If she imagined the she-cat much smaller, a little thinner in build and younger in appearance, she was sure she knew the cat who was addressing her. "Yes, Nutpaw!" Mothcloud exclaimed with perked ears. "You're back! I mean, of course you are back," She purred. She could imagine that the poor apprentice had probably experienced such uncleanliness outside of Midnightclan. Her own journey had proven that, and a wave of sympathy washed over her. What a shame that when she had returned, Mothcloud had not been here organizing the camp. If it had looked anything like it did now, it was almost no better than living outside of border! She shuddered inwardly at the thought. How nice it was to be back in clan territory, to be back home where she belonged. She was sure that Nutpaw shared this same feeling. There was just nothing like it.

[Deleted]

Nutflower nodded as Mothcloud spoke. "Yes, I am back... but for how long? How long can I stay from the same cat who I loved moons?" Nutflower thought miserably as the image of seeing Oscar, live and well, filled her mind again. Recently she had discovered some news that meant the world to her. Oscar was alive. Now Nutflower felt very torn up inside. Part of her wanted to follow Oscar but the other knew she was better off staying with Badgerclaw, in MidnightClan. Nutflower snapped out of her thoughts quickly. "I'm glad you're back, Mothcloud," Nutflower mewed politely. The chocolate she-cat licked her chest a few times over. "Things a bit different for you?" Nutflower asked. The she-cat already knew the answer. As the moons went by, things changed. There were surprises, changes, differences. Nutflower even had a little surprise of her own.

[Deleted]

"Different...?" Mothcloud blinked slowly with a slight pulling back of an ear. Frightening scenes flashed before her instantly; scenes of darkness, stifling heat and foul-smelling dirt and of long shiny branches with claws at the ends in a very, very closed in twoleg nest. Too small for even one twoleg, no way to escape, moons of yowling and of silence until twolegs came in trying to grasp at her with their claws...

She desperately tried to shove the terrifying thoughts and emotions that flooded their way to the surface from the mere mention of past. Her claws were now dug into the dirt and her eyes looked a bit out of focus. The trauma of where she had been pushed back with relief when she had escaped and with a surge of hope when she at last, finally scented the border again after so many moons. She had nightmares every night of that place since her escape, thinking she was still there, and it hadn't occurred to her that finding her home hadn't made the experience disappear like it should. She may be the same super organized, compulsive dark tortoiseshell that every cat had known, but there was also a change to her as well. More fear? Nervousness? Panic? She had images that were heavily haunting her...

and she really didn't want to think about it right now.

"Oh, well yes! For one this camp is a lot more... unorganized than when I left it. Then there's the role change, haha," Haha, but she wasn't laughing about that.

[Deleted]

Nutflower nodded knowingly. She smiled softly, her body more straight and tense. The swelling of her belly was made more apparent that way, though Nutflower had no clue. What really made her more tense was the painful memory of a certain cat. Now, there was no point in lingering on to the past so Nutflower put that aside. "I don`t think it`s unorganized. Just... different," She mewed.

[Deleted]

Mothcloud felt her fur ruffle a bit. How could a cat not think it was unorganized in comparison to her ways of cleaning? The she-cat had been gone for moons after all; did Nutflower really not notice her absence in the way the camp was now "disheveled" and not run the way Mothcloud had strived for? Or perhaps the she-cat was merely in denial. Oh yes, that would make much more sense to the former deputy; the camp was so unclean that after moons of living in it, perhaps the warriors were trying to convince themselves that it was fine. It certainly wasn't, however! She would have to be sure that everything was brought back to its former cleanliness so that they could all live in comfort knowing that everything was just... perfect.

"Different is one way of putting it," the dark tortoiseshell replied with a shake of her head. She would not be pleased until everything met her satisfaction. Different, indeed.