A Thrush in the Ashes [Tagged]

[Rogue]

(Lionhearted :3)

The sun had just risen from behind the hills when Ashfrost pushed his way out of the warrior's den, the cold air of leafbare hitting him immediately.  The grey-spotted warrior shook out his thick fur as his breath escaped his mouth in cloudy puffs, suddenly thankful for its length and thickness.  This leafbare was turning out to be especially hard for all of the Clans, and as he crossed the clearing to the pitifully low fresh-kill pile, he could see that WhisperClan was no different.  A scrawny mouse, a ragged squirrel, and a bony rabbit were the only pieces of fresh-kill that lay on the frost-covered ground, and none of them looked like enough to feed the queens and the kits, let alone a full grown warrior.  The tom paced in a small circle around the pile before shaking his head.  He was hungry, but not hungry enough to take prey from those who needed it more than he did.  The queens and kits always came first.

Around him, other cats began emerging from their dens into the crisp morning air, and Ashfrost's fur began to prickle uncomfortably.  The new scar that he had earned from his badger fight a few days ago seemed to sting, and with another glance down at the meager fresh-kill pile, he turned to head for the entrance to the camp, determined to catch the plumpest prey he could find to bring to the nursery.  Despite his frosty exterior, Ashfrost had a soft spot in his heart for the kits.  Perhaps it was because he wanted them to have a better kithood than he did. 

[Lionhearted]

"Dad, can you play with me? Please?" The small ginger-and-white kit ran up to his father with wide eyes, tilting his head back to look at the tom's big form.

"I'm sorry, Thrushkit, I can't today. I have to work. Maybe in the evening," said Thrushstar, gently untangling himself from his son.

"Aw. but don't forget!" the miniature Thrushstar slammed into Thrushstar's leg playfully, then bounced back in the nursery. Thrushstar sighed and gazed at him momentarily, then turned away. Play would have to be pushed until the night. Spotting Ashfrost, he approached the tom.

He knew that Ashfrost wasn't known for his friendliness; Thrushstar knew all the gossip in the Clan. but the tom reminded Thrushstar of himself, and he greeted the other warrior with a flick of his tail. "Hello, Ashfrost. Care to go on patrol with me?"

[Rogue]

Ashfrost paused at the sound of Thrushstar's voice, and he tried not to let the surprise that he felt show on his face. The leader of the Clan wanted to go on patrol with him? Him, the certified outcast of WhisperClan? The grey warrior glanced around quickly, wanting to make sure this wasn't some joke that was being played on him. Satisfied that he wasn't being set up, Ashfrost met Thrushstar's gaze steadily, his own steely and cool. "Sure, Thrushstar. It would be an honor."

Ashfrost turned to exit the camp, but then paused and glanced back at Thrushstar. How did this type of thing work? Did Thrushstar go first since he was the leader? Ashfrost's tail lashed, the only thing giving away the turmoil he felt inside. The grey warrior stepped aside and dipped his head to his leader, indicating that he should go first. It was such an odd feeling, not going alone. It made him a bit uneasy, and the pink scar on his face didn't help.

[Lionhearted]

"You may go first," said Thrushstar, lightly amused at Ashfrost's uneasiness. Was it so much harder now that he was leader? What if he was just another Clanmate? That he was, too. He preferred not to be treated any different.

Thrushstar's gaze sharpened as he spotted the fresh scar on Ashfrost's face. What did he do now? he thought in exasperation. We don't need fights, especially not now. "Are you okay?" he asked cautiously, trying not to frown too long. "What happened, er, to your face?

[Rogue]

Ashfrost relaxed a little when Thrushstar told him to go first. He wasn't familiar with this kind of thing, he didn't know if there were any odd customs that were to be obeyed around the Clan leader. He hadn't personally spoke to Thrushstar before, but he admired the tom who always put his Clan first, though he would never admit it.

The grey-spotted warrior turned to head out of the camp, but halted at Thrushstar's question about his scar. Though embarrassment flooded him from his paws to the tips of his ears, Ashfrost turned and met Thrushstar's eyes without flinching, allowing his leader to get a good look at the scar. "I'm alright," he said coolly. "A badger threatened the life of my apprentice a few days ago, so I fought with it and it gave me this to remember it by." Ashfrost paused, and then added, "Her name is Echopaw. I couldn't have killed it without her. She saved my life." Perhaps if the Clan leader recognized how brave Echopaw was, she would finally realize it too.


Without waiting for Thrushstar's response, Ashfrost turned and stalked out of the camp, listening for the sound of his leader's following pawsteps.

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar was momentarily baffled by Ashfrost's crispness. Okay, so he's a little authentic. I can deal with that. For now. Giving the back of Ashfrost's head a queer glare, Thrushstar stepped up next to the tom. "That's brave of her," he commented vaguely. "When she passes her assessment, I'll be sure to make her a warrior. I'm sorry we don't have a medicine cat to patch you up. Does it hurt badly? If it does, I suggest you take a few days of rest. Better to be healthy and working efficiently than to be deteriorating and sickly in your effort, am I right?"

[Rogue]

Ashfrost shook his head in response to Thrushstar's question and continued walking, tasting the air every now and then to check for any signs of rogues or other Clan cats that could have crossed into WhisperClan territory. "I'm fine," he said flatly, shooting a side glance at his leader. "There's no point in taking a few days off when the Clan needs all the able bodies it can get. Although I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. And let's be honest, this will never go away." He inclined his head, indicating the fresh scar by his eye. "It's not the first thing badgers have taken from me, and it won't be the last."

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar nodded. "Okay, then, fine. It's up to you. I'm just saying that everyone needs extra rest once in a while, and maybe it'll do you more good if you took it, as opposed to not taking any at all. There's something called overwork, too. I think snow helps, if you kinda press your face into it and it helps numb and cool it down. Just make sure it's not infected-- we definitely don't want that. I'm asking you to be careful."

The leafbare air was bone-numbing, but to Thrushstar it was like a breath of fresh air, and it was welcoming. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, stopping to tip his head into the air. He let the passing breeze blow through his fur, and exhaled as it whistled past. "Sure is nice out here," he commented arbitrarily. "It's good to have a break every now and then. And it's nice to meet new faces. I can see that you're an excellent warrior, Ashfrost, and I trust that you'll advance a lot in life. When I was your age, I was foolish, too patriotic, and downright mean to everyone. I guess you could say I've learned my lesson. but I stayed loyal to WhisperClan, and that's only part of what the Clan is asking for. Being the best you can be, both as a warrior and as a moral cat, is the answer. Agree?"

[Rogue]

Ashfrost mulled over what Thrushstar said as he picked his way through the wide expanse of meadow that opened up before them, pressing his paws harder into the thick snow than usual and studying the perfect paw prints he left behind. Thrushstar was right, of course; no matter how much he felt like an outsider sometimes, he loved WhisperClan. It was his home, and one of the only things he had left to cling to, to live for. "I agree," he said slowly, lifting his head to meet the Clan leader's eyes. "WhisperClan isn't perfect, but it's home. I would lay my life down for it any day."

As they continued walking, he tried to picture Thrushstar like him, a cat lost in his own Clan. He knew Thrushstar had been Thrushleap up until recently, but he had never really spoken to the tom. There was something about him that reminded Ashfrost of himself, and it made him relax just a little. Perhaps he was being too cold once again.

"It must be hard, being Clan leader," the grey warrior commented, scanning the horizon for signs of intruders before bringing his emerald gaze back to Thrushstar. "With the lives of so many cats on your paws. That's a lot of responsibility." He paused. "I respect you a great deal for being able to take that all on your shoulders. It takes a strong cat to do that."

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar paused in his walking again. Without looking at Ashfrost, he mumured, "thank you. but you must know that I had to learn to be strong over the moons I've lived." Should I really be telling this story? "My life was... a wreck up until my deputyship. My sister Rosetail had left just before my apprentice ceremony and her due warrior ceremony. She's in StormClan right now. My brothers disowned me, as they thought I wasn't loyal enough, and I had to live with that, and the knowledge that my sister was now part of an enemy Clan, and that I would, inevitably, have to meet her in battle one day.

"My brothers' notion of loyalty to WhisperClan is far different from most cats' notions. Loyalty to them is... everything. Anything else, such as getting a mate, making a friend from a rival Clan, is a distraction, and a sign that one is not loyal enough. but that's not what makes a complete warrior, is it? You've got to live your own, independent life. Being too attached to a Clan, or any other affiliation is... a sign that you're not loyal enough to yourself. If the Clan is important to you, then by all means be loyal to it. You should always put it ahead of yourself, because you are a part of the Clan, or affiliation. but once in a while you've got to contribute by being yourself, and taking care of yourself. Because really, if you're not in a good shape, how are you supposed to help the Clan, hm?"

"but enough lectures and whatnot about my own miserable past life. That's all old history now. Tell me about yourself, Ashfrost. How has your life been? Feeling happy? Anything you want to talk about? I'll keep in confidential. I'm only here to help, and be a Clanmate who's there for you."

[Rogue]

Ashfrost listened to Thrushstar's story quietly, and with each word he got more and more surprised. Thrushstar's story sounded almost identical to Ashfrost's, only with less tragedy. Maybe it was the connection that he felt because of that, or maybe he was just tired of holding all of it inside, but he found himself speaking. "I killed my mother," he said simply, stopping to look the Clan leader in the eyes. "Sure, I didn't kill her with my own two paws, but my stupidity and ignorance did. I snuck out of camp when I was a kit and found a fox den. She came to look for me, and when the fox emerged she told me to run. So I ran and got my father, but by the time he got there it was too late." The grey warrior looked out at the horizon, his tail lashing a little. "My family deserted me after that. My father didn't want anything to do with me. I had killed his mate, as far as he was concerned. My two sisters quickly followed suit. The only cat I had left to rely on was my mentor."

A frigid breeze blew across the meadow and ruffled Ashfrost's grey-spotted fur, and he raised his head to the sky, letting it wash over his face and cool his scar. "My mentor filled my father's pawsteps," he continued, faintly wondering why he was telling another cat all of this when he never had before. "It was good, for awhile. Then one day we were out hunting and we ran into a badger. I couldn't move fast enough and he shoved me out of the way, and the badger broke his neck." The grey warrior closed his green eyes tightly against the wind. "I was responsible for the death of another good cat. And that's how I became who I am today."

Ashfrost slowly lowered his head and fixed his gaze on Thrushstar. "I love my Clan. And every day I wonder when that will be ripped away from me too, just like the cats I loved."

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar nodded in approval. "Good. And with your efforts, you won't. You have to learn to let things go. I did, and although I still mourn the past, I can't try to live it again. What's happening now matters, and what's in the past is history. They died nobly and honorably, and I'm sure they didn't want to pass away in vain. So stop moping around, and get up off your paws. Live a little. Cherish every moment that these cats died to give you. Spread their goodness, and find it within yourself. That's what I had to do." Giving Ashfrost his signature stern glare, he suddenly smiled. "You were a lot like me. Perhaps you'll be a great leader too, some day, when you learn what you need to learn. You still have some ways to go, but it's not far if you make the effort. Now, it's getting late. Shall we head back?"

OOC: Do you want to end this thread, make another one, or keep going? ^^

[Rogue]

Ashfrost turned over Thrushstar's words in his mind, contemplating them. He knew his leader was right. He couldn't keep holding all of the guilt and pain inside, or clinging to the memories of his mother and his mentor. They had died saving him, yes, but he had never truly considered the fact that they had died because they thought he was worth saving. The grey warrior looked down at his paws as he continued to listen to Thrushstar, looking up in surprise when the other warrior mentioned that he might be a great leader someday. Ashfrost had never really considered himself the leading type, but perhaps he had been neglecting that part of himself. Feeling a bit touched by Thrushstar's words, he dipped his head respectfully. "Thank you, Thrushstar. I will take your words to heart and use them to better myself." He paused, and then added, "I apologize for my shortness with you earlier. Sometimes I need to stop and think about who I'm speaking to." Glancing up at the darkening sky, Ashfrost nodded in agreement. "Yes, let's head back. It's not always safe for two cats to be out at night."

OOC: I'd be down for another thread, unless you'd like to keep going with this one? ^.^