Things Change || Tagged!

[Carotius]

Rogue Peek a boo owo

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Thistlehawk stared into the puddle of water. His reflection stared right back, its emerald eyes glinting from the reflection of the sun. It remained as wordless as he was, unsure if speech made any difference to life at the moment. The warm greenleaf breeze gently weaved its way through the fields, making the long grass wave and ripple in a dance of nature, like a paw disturbing the surface of water. It really was a quiet place to be if one went to the fields, apart from the movements of rodents and birds coming out of hibernation and eventually into the normal life in greenleaf.

The deputy snorted, turning away from the puddle and towards a general direction. She hasn't been at the spot for ages now... He padded forward aimlessly, ignoring the grass that brushed and tickled his blue-grey pelt; they felt oddly...numbing, to him, like they were sapping life from his body little by little with each small stroke. Normally, they'd give him comfort, but today...today, TalonClan's deputy found himself in a pit of hollow emotions.

[Rogue]

OOC: Yes, brother time!!

The grass felt odd under Boulderfall's paws, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the anxiety that was twisting around in his belly or if the grass really had changed texture. His thoughts were a jumble of jagged pieces, each one stabbing into his brain. His mate, Ivyheart, was expecting their first litter of kits, and she was having some complications. It was nothing serious as of right now, but it still made him very nervous. It didn't exactly help that he had been practically pushed out of the nursery and told to go do something productive.

Reaching the top of a hill, a familiar scent hit him at the same time that he spotted a blue-tabby pelt identical to his own. Purring lightly at the sight of his brother, Boulderfall bounded down the hill toward him. "Thistlehawk!" Perhaps talking to his brother would help alleviate some of the stress that weighed down his broad shoulders. After all, they always had been very close. Partners in crime, you could say.

[Carotius]

OOC: Ohhh but they're on opposite sides of the mood spectrum. XD

---

The large tabby's ears shot up in high alert at the call, the left one swivelling backwards to pinpoint its owner and the direction they were arriving from. Of course, through the muddle of thoughts, Thistlehawk didn't do too well in remembering his brother's voice, especially when they hadn't had time to converse with each other in the last moon or so. Something between a grumble and a growl developed in his throat, to which he struggled to swallow as he turned his head to greet the near-identical sibling of his. Boulderfall looked chirpy for some reason, though there seemed to be some underlying stress within those yellow depths of eyes.

Thistlehawk didn't stop moving even after indicating he'd heard the other tom, but he did acknowledge and beckon him with a flick of his tail tip. Again, like the way he'd treated his reflection in the puddle earlier, the deputy said nothing as he waited for the other warrior to catch up to him, though one single question popped up in his mind. Shouldn't you be at camp? The grumbly sound made its way back at the sudden thought that came. Thistlehawk shook his head vigorously, internally hissing at it.

"What are you doing out here?" he tilted his head towards Boulderfall, their walk together still aimless.

[Rogue]

OOC: I can see that, poor Thistlehawk is grumpy. :c

Boulderfall pricked his ears at his brother's question, drawing up alongside him at the same time. He could sense that something was wrong with his littermate, though nothing in his voice gave it away. Narrowing his yellow eyes a little, he matched his pawsteps with those of Thistlehawk's and lifted his shoulders in the tiniest of shrugs. "I got kicked out of the nursery. I was fussing too much, apperantly." He decided not to add that he couldn't help it. He wanted to spill out all of the worry that was eating him up inside, but he was sure that Thistlehawk had enough on his mind now that he was deputy. Ivyheart will be fine, he told himself firmly.

Returning his attention to the other warrior, Boulderfall went to nudge Thistlehawk's shoulder lightly, his eyes glittering. "I told Ivyheart that if one of the kits look like me, I'm gonna name him Thistlekit. Ya know, after you," he purred loudly, hoping that it would cheer his brother up. "Hopefully the name won't cause him to develop your personality," he added, a teasing note to his voice.

[Carotius]

As Thistlehawk feared, his brother decided to go on the topic of the latter's kits that Ivyheart was carrying. The green-eyed tabby fought down a groan from being audible, instead doing so internally just so he wouldn't cause his littermate to poke any questions on it. He'd caught wind about the two warriors becoming mates not too long ago, hearing about it from a gossiping patrol as he went out to lead another to the borders. Surprise was the first emotion to seize him, as he never had the thought of Boulderfall becoming a father, much less to the kits of a she-cat the deputy had reprimanded for taking prey before hunting a while back; confusion was the next thing to hit Thistlehawk, mostly due to the suddenness of the news.

How busy was the blue-grey tom to not notice the time pass?

He kept his muzzle shut as Boulderfall continued, mildly complaining about being kicked out of the nursery for being the worrywart that he became all of a sudden. Green eyes narrowed, staring at the dirt beneath their paws. He had that feeling before, but never to kits of his own - he had none of his own at the moment. Those feelings were only for a ghostly white she-cat he hadn't met in so long, and had conflicting affections for since many seasons ago. Thistlehawk wasn't getting any younger with each passing day, and yet... You have a family of your own now. Bitterness seeped into his paws, causing his claws to unsheathe as he walked.

"-hopefully the name won't cause him to develop your personality," Boulderfall was saying with a light nudge and a note of teasing.

"Of course not. I'm too busy running around giving orders to let my old impulsiveness flow out to someone else," he muttered, ignoring the alarmed shriek of a magpie as it took into the air. He didn't miss the chance to throw the bird a baleful glare, "Thanks for the needless emphasis, you feathered moron."

[Rogue]

Boulderfall frowned, unease gripping his heart with razor sharp claws. Thistlehawk was acting odd, almost bitter. The realization suddenly struck him that he hadn't really seen his brother relaxing at all lately. It seemed as if he was always busy now that he was deputy. There was always something for him to do, always some cat who required his time and attention. Whereas he was able to spend time with Ivyheart and soon with his kits, Thistlehawk didn't have that luxury. He didn't have a family.

No, Boulderfall thought to himself immediately. He has me.

Stopping abruptly, he spun around to face Thistlehawk, the same gleam of determination in his yellow eyes that he used to get when they were younger. "Thistlehawk," he said fiercely, looking into his brother's glittering green eyes. "We need to find you a she-cat. You deserve a family. Kits. You deserve love. You and I, we've always been close, and we always will be. but I want you to find happiness too."

[Carotius]

The large tabby would have walked straight on ahead if his ears hadn't picked up on Boulderfall's lack of movement. Alerted by the absence of his brother's pawsteps, Thistlehawk stopped a couple of steps ahead, eyes still fixated on the grass underfoot. He listened wordlessly to the other tom's words, taking in whatever his kin had to say about his sudden tumble into supposed loneliness as a result of all the duties he had to fulfil in the last few moons, only turning his head around and dragging his gaze up to match it with his brother's yellow ones midway through. Family? Kits? Who was he kidding?

Unsheathed claws curled inwards and dug into the earth, as if sinking into the flesh of precious prey in leaf-bare. You don't know what it's like to love two! He wanted to shriek, images of Lyra and Brightfish flashing in the back of his mind; one a frightened loner while the other a similarly-meek TalonClan warrior, both had the deputy's unwavering affections and hopes of bearing his kits in future. The only problem happened to be the potential forbidden relationship with Lyra, especially with his loyalties to the Clan. Boulderfall wouldn't know that - he had everything work out and come to him almost naturally. 

"Pardon me for not being as successful as you in the romance department, Boulderfall. Maybe the hawk should have carried me away after all," Thistlehawk hissed, the fur along his spine bristling in barely suppressed anger. Truth be told, he had no idea whatsoever of how Lyra and Brightfish could ever find an interest in him - he was hopeless as a romantic, clumsy when it came to flirting, and quick to hide in shame during failure to impress she-cats. "Oh, pffft, I probably gave Ivyheart a bad impression after catching her taking a sparrow before she even hunted. but that's totally fine... I mean, it's not like you have any idea what it feels like to love two cats and not wanting to break either of their hearts by choosing one!"

Finally too frustrated by the dilemma, the blue-grey tom did more than just scuff the ground - he tore it up just once with the yank of one paw, before glaring sullenly at the gouge he made. Where are you when I need you? Lyra's image faded into nothingness, leaving a sense of loneliness to deeply embed itself in his mind. He let out a defeated sigh. Right.. 

[Rogue]

Boulderfall took a few unsteady pawsteps back, stunned by the force of his brother's outburst. Thistlehawk had hissed at him in the past of course, but never with as much venom as he did now. A wave of anger welled up inside the large tabby's chest, threatening to burst forth. He planted a huge white paw on the scarred earth that Thistlehawk had just raked at with his claws, his tail lashing angrily. "You can't be angry with me for that," he hissed at his sibling, flattening his ears against his skull. "I would have been more than happy to be there for you and help you shoulder that pain, but you're never around to tell me any of it. I can't read your mind, Thistlehawk. You aren't alone, and sometimes I feel like you forget that. We're brothers."

Telling himself that barking at Thistlehawk wasn't going to solve any problems, only create more, Boulderfall forced the fur along his spine to lay flat again. All of the fury left his body in an instant, causing him to almost deflate. In truth, he couldn't blame Thistlehawk entirely for their lack of communication lately. It was true that Thistlehawk had been a lot busier since becoming deputy, but Boulderfall had been completely preoccupied with Ivyheart. There were plenty of times when he could have chatted with his brother but chose to turn his back instead.

I've been an awful brother, Boulderfall thought to himself miserably. He had been so busy with his own love life that he hadn't noticed that Thistlehawk's was crushing him. Shuffling his paws a little, the TalonClan warrior looked up at Thistlehawk, guilt shining in his yellow eyes. "I'm sorry," he meowed honestly. "I haven't exactly been there for you lately."

[Carotius]

OOC: Look at all the sudden muse I'm having in the final 30 minutes of work >_>

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Agitation practically bolted down his bones at Boulderfall's response. You could have, but you chose HER over me every chance you get! He wanted to shout those words out, as loud as he could, enough to reverberate and echo throughout the fields if he so pleased; the deputy never felt so frustrated with life up until now, what with the she-cat dilemma he was having, and the terrible event at the Gathering that required his and Finchsong of StormClan's aid. This just had to take the cake. The tom was itching to leap at his equally large brother without any sensible reason.

but he didn't. He simply couldn't. None of this was fully Boulderfall's fault - it was simply the warrior moving forward on the path of life StarClan granted him, a path most cats would get to walk...eventually. Patience was key, in that case. Evidently, Thistlehawk now lacked that patience, having let jealousy discourage him and instead ingrain into him a false reason for working up his anger. His littermate did nothing wrong. His littermate was innocent, and simply continuing the line of their family. And I'm just here, milling around without a partner to call my own.

Muttering, the tabby forced his rump onto the ground. Hard. If doing so caused a lot of pain to his bones, he sure as heck did a good job in hiding it. Besides, it can't possibly hurt more than feeling alone and accusing your kin for something they didn't do. The tip of Thistlehawk's tail twitched irritably behind him, ears drooping in misery. One ear, however, perked upwards as Boulderfall meowed an apology, prompting him to lift his green gaze to his brother's yellow ones. The same note of regret painted the warrior's face a sad shade of blue-grey - if Thistlehawk didn't know any better, Boulderfall was probably an exact mirror of emotion at this moment.

The deputy remained silent, contemplating his words...but ducked his head again, wrapping his tail tightly around himself. "Maybe if Briarstar hadn't made me deputy..."

[Rogue]

OOC: I'm having all the muse for this thread! Yay music! *throws up arms*

Boulderfall studied the image that his brother presented, one of defeat and sorrow. After a moment he went and sat down beside his sibling, his short blue-grey tabby pelt brushing lightly against Thistlehawk's identical one. He hadn't realized just how much the TalonClan deputy had been struggling. He could feel the stress rolling off of Thistlehawk in waves. Sighing quietly, he murmured just low enough for his brother to hear. "Briarstar wouldn't have made you deputy if she didn't think you could be a great leader one day, after she's gone. I happen to agree with her." After a pause, he added, "I know your thoughts feel all jumbled right now, but you'll figure everything out. You always have. These she-cat problems you're having, they'll resolve themselves. You just need to look into your heart."

Suddenly feeling very cheesy and awkward, Boulderfall looked out at the field that stretched out before them, the long grass swaying gently in the warm breeze. It was a sunny day, and Boulderfall felt his pelt grow warm under the bright rays. "We all have a place," he meowed more to himself than Thistlehawk. "StarClan has a path for each of us. Some are more difficult than others, but their rewards are often the greatest." Flicking his tail toward the vibrant flowers that dotted the landscape, he turned so that he was looking at his brother. "Every leafbare those flowers die, covered by frost and snow, but every newleaf they bloom again, brighter and more colorful than before. Life works in cycles. You just happen to be in your leafbare."

[Carotius]

OOC: WHOSE ARMS DID YOU CHOP OFF?!?!

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The new sarcastic side of Thistlehawk had the urge to scoff at his brother's first remark. She has nine lives. It'll be ages before I become leader. Heck, he'd probably be withered and close to death by then, with the coming kin of his kin made into apprentices, maybe even warriors. Whether that statement made sense in his head or not didn't matter, for he already understood what he meant. That didn't sound right either. Wait, what. 

He shook his head vigorously, forcing the multiple thoughts out of his mind. When did Boulderfall get so wise? Probably that one incident where the hawk of his namesake nearly carried the deputy off during their apprenticeship. Thistlehawk, listen! The voice was harsh, effectively snapping his attention back to the words continuing to flow from his brother's muzzle. As he had thought so himself, StarClan already laid a path for him to tread that others can only accompany him on; stepping onto it and moving forward was up to him, and him alone. Responsibility was no one else's.

"...Is there a day you don't say anything cheesy?" he muttered with a deadpan face, thereafter proceeding to shove his brother's shoulder lightly. "Makes me wonder how you even score a life partner with that amount of sappiness. but...thanks."

[Rogue]

OOC: Um, uh...*runs away*

A rush of sweet relief washed over Boulderfall when Thistlehawk nudged his shoulder lightly, and a quiet purr rumbled deep in his throat. It seemed as though his brother was finally coming out of the pit he had been stuck in. Looking at Thistlehawk with glittering yellow eyes, he replied, "I don't know how I did either. It's a mystery. And you're welcome." Glancing up at the bright blue sky above them, he added, "You'll find yourself a mate soon, and then when you have kits I'll be able to corrupt them just like I'm sure you'll corrupt my kits. After all, you corrupted me when we were kits, always dragging me into trouble."

That was completely false of course. They were partners in crime, always having the same crazy ideas and always acting on them. Neither of them dragged the other anywhere because the other was always willing to go. Trouble called to them and they always answered. And look at us now, the blue-grey tabby thought to himself in wry amusement. One of us is the Clan deputy and the other is about to be a father. Where have the moons gone?

"You'll always be my brother, Thistlehawk," Boulderfall suddenly found himself saying. "I'm always here for you. Come to me the next time you're having problems and I will sit and listen. You have enough to worry about, you don't have to shoulder this alone."