A Thorn in our Heart (Echo)

[Icestorm]

Thornfur made his way away from the camp entrance with a steady pace. He needed his space and suddenly the camp seemed too small. It had been that way for a while now for him. Ever since the attack on Leafclan that is. He wanted nothing to do with his clan mates. Quietly he made his way through the underbrush of the forest. He didn't even have the energy to jump to the trees. The trees didn't seem to hold his attention like they used to, nothing did anymore. Even with new-leaf well on its way, and new green buds growing Thornfur felt cold. He tried to ignore the cold feeling, but it crept in him and refused to leave. It was just like before. The same cold feeling when he lost his sister. He let out a heavy sigh. 

Why starclan? Why him? He was still young. He hadn't even had a chance to live yet. Oh, my poor Owlkit.

Thornfur felt a cold shiver run through him. He felt as though he had lost everything again. Owlkit's death hit him hard. He knew it had, but he wouldn't admit it out loud. Not even to Birdheart, who he had been avoiding. He had mourned over him with her at first, but something in him wouldn't let him look at her anymore. She reminded him of Owlkit too much. When Owlkit was born he was so proud to have him look like his beautiful mother, but now... he couldn't stand it. It was almost too much.

Echo

[Echo]

Birdheart watched her mate exit the clan camp. She was just finishing a solo hunt, bird in jaw. but she dropped the bird, not caring if the small hummingbird makes it to the fresh-kill pile or not. Thornfur had been avoiding her, it seemed, and she wanted to know why. "Thornfur!" She called while racing after him.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur heard his name. It was Birdheart. He would know her voice anywhere, but she was just the cat he really didn't want to see right now. She would only make it worse for him. In his heart he missed her, but the pain was too much. Thornfur knew he should stop for her to catch up. At least the old him would have. He let out a heavy sigh and slowed down just enough to give her time to catch up.

[Echo]

Birdheart caught up to her beloved mate so that she was standing right beside him. "We haven't talked in many days... Thornfur, the death of our kit has affected me to. We can't just avoid eachother in hopes of all our broken pieces mending back together. Can we just talk about it?" she tried to entwine her tail with his as a form of comfort.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur stopped and looked to Birdheart. "Birdheart," he let out a sigh, by no means did he want to talk about it, but he knew his mate and she wasn't going to let it go. "I cant talk about it. It-it..." out of frustration he started to walk away again. It hurt not being with her, not being able to tell her. but it hurt to look her in the eyes and not see their son. How could he do it? He felt her tail, but moved his away. "Look everyone I care for dies. So maybe it would best if you just leave me." he hissed, it was more to himself than to her. He was so angry with himself. This was his fault.

[Echo]

Birdheart stopped in her tracks as Thornfur kept walking. She was astonished. "Everyone you care for dies, huh? So the fact that I'm still alive isn't anything special? Why don't you get some sense and live in the moment for what you have and not the past for what you lost, Thornfur. Maybe, just maybe, then you can actually suffice as a good mate." She immidiately wanted to take back what she said, but anger and frustration built inside and she didn't know how to apologize. He was being dumb but her words were extremely harsh. Regret was starting to fill her to the point that it hurt. All she could do, however, was turn and walk away. 'Ouch She thought, lifting her head in surprise. Something had just kicked her stomach. She turned to see who it was, but there was no one except Thornfur walking, many tail lengths away from her.

'Oh no... Not after what I just said... this can't be happening...'

OOC: OOO DAYUM SHE REALLY WENT AFTER HIM! You should have Thornfur talk back and shiz to keep the thread going until she tells him 'The news'

[Icestorm]

OOC: oh man harsh, but perfect! EEK love it

Thornfur listened to her words with anger. How could she say that. "Good mate? What am I a bad mate now?I have done everything for you! How could? Do you?" the frustration was becoming too much for him, "You know I lost my sister because I couldn't protect her from her mate! And now.." he wanted to stop, but it was too late. He was angry and his emotions were bubbling over. There was too much he had held in, "I lost Owlkit. I lost him. Me! This. All of this was my fault! I couldn't protect him! Do you realize what I have done?" His words rung in his ears. He didn't mean to say so much, but he was hurt. Her words had hit him hard.

[Echo]

Birdheart needed to fix what she started, and fast. but anger was bubbling hot like lava inside her. Saying sorry seemed impossible by now. "Er... You aren't a bad mate... but..." her words were breaking as she tried to gather enough water to burn out the fire in her eyes. "but why do you just throw me out like I am a piece of crowfood, huh? Just because you feel sorry for yourself doesn't give you the right to respect me any less than you would respect me if Owlkit were still alive. It's not your fault. Listen to me." She ran over to Thornfur and stuck her tail under his chin as if to lift it up. "If it were anyones fault, it would be more on me than anyone. You need to realize that." She tried to speak her last sentence as if she were his mother, but it came out more like the in between of being his mother and being an over-powering fox-hearted bitch. Her heart was straining to say sorry, but the thorn of the cold way he was treating her was plugging up the ride tone and words.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Everytime I look at you, I feel like I failed you." He didn't know how to say it. Owlkit's death made him feel alone, he thought it was his fault and thought she would eventually see it that way too. Her words struck him though. Her fault? She didn't even fight, "I promised to protect him and you. And I failed. Here I am, a few scratches, no Owlkit, and you upset, and hurt. Tell me who did I protect? No one!" By no means was this her fault. She couldn't blame herself. She was a good mother, but then again how could he say that and not take his own thoughts for himself? He felt himself starting to cave under his emotions. Expressing himself, wasn't something he was known for.

[Echo]

She thought a moment and then shook her head. "How can it be your fault when I was supposed to pay attention to the kits in the den. I let him get away. but if it is hopeless for me to continue talking here then why am I? Oh right, because I care about those I love. You wanna treat me like I mean nothing? Fine, go ahead. Maybe I really don't mean anything," She wanted to seem like she was overeacting to see how he would reply if she just walked away. How could she let him be a father to her kits if he became cold like this when he was hurt?

[Icestorm]

Thornfur tried to listen to her. "There were other queens in there. You were watching all the kits and queens. I was to protect the entrance and not let anyone in or out." He yelled. He knew he was losing this fight. He was breaking down on the inside. And there she was, his mate walking away. He loved her. That had not changed and he knew it, but he also knew he wasn't showing it. Something in him, finally cracked, "Birdheart, please," he stared at her, his eyes pleading. He needed her, as much as he tried to tell himself it was better without them together, or that he was only going to hurt her. He just couldn't do it anymore. He needed her. "Please. You mean everything to me. I- I'm," he was choking on his words at this point over taken with emotions.

[Echo]

Birdheart quickly moved in and nuzzled him. "That is all I need to hear, Thornfur. I need you too, especially at this point in time. We have more kits on the way..." she trailed off, a little scared to see if he would get mad because they had just lost a kit.

[Icestorm]

Thornfur finally let it all go, accepting Birdheart's love. He really had missed her. He stopped frozen by Birdheart's words. "Wh-what?" Thornfur was torn. His emotions raw. How... how could this happen now? They just lost Owlkit... he wasn't ready was he? How could he be? Yet, these were his kits, his family. "Birdheart... I-" he turned away needing to think for a moment. He was so overwhelmed. He should be happy, and was but he was saddened too. How could he celebrate knew life at time like this? "What if I fail again? How can I look these kits in the eyes and tell them I will protect them? I- I.." he was scared but he couldn't say it out loud.

[Echo]

Birdheart once again used her tail and placed it cross her mates jaw. "Shhh... I know you are scared, but you need to think. A battle like he one that just tore our clan apart shouldn't happen again, at least not until our grandkit have grandkits. We also have a little bit of experience now, as parents I mean. This will not happen again. " She whipped her tail away from his face and tapped her nose to his cheek. "Most importantly, we will do this together" She whispered.

[Icestorm]

OOC: XD the love of these two could shake a mountain and mend world peace!

Thornfur felt Birdheart's tail. He focused on her touch, hoping it would keep him grounded. He listened to her closely. "I hope you're right," he muttered to himself and to her. As took her tail away he moved closer to her. Right now he needed her strength, "Together," he said finally after a moment. He just hoped he could do better this time. Make it right with Owlkit by these kits.