Lost Her Shine (Nova)

[Icestorm]

Tags: @nova
OOC: Here is our beginning thread

Poppyshine was laying just outside the entrance of the nursery. Her stomach growing seemingly growing larger by the moment. She wished she could shrink away into the darkness, but here she was sticking out like sore paw. The dark she-cat's usually smile was gone, it had been gone for a while now. She had nothing to really smile about. Was she shown mercy from her leader, yeah. but she felt ashamed all the same. How was she supposed to be a good mother to her kits when she broke the warrior code and they will no it? How would her kits think of her? Would they even want to call her mother? What would they think of their father? She closed her eyes. She would not say his name to them. Even if he would always hold a place in her heart, and even if he was a part of them she would not say his name. No. She had decided that she would never say his name again. She feared if she did all of her old feeling would return to her about him. Old? Was that the right word? No she knew it wasn't but she hoped it soon would be. Her eyes moved to Froststar's den, he would not let them forget her mistake she knew that.

The she-cat stared at the leaders den. Losing focus of her surrounding as she continued to be lost in thought. 

[Deleted]

Blacklightning trotted into the camp, two mice dangling from his jaws. He was thank for the easy catches, but wished he had been able to bring a few more pieces home. The black furred tom took a look around the camp, it looked as if everyone was already finished eatting. Satisfied, the Leafclan warrior took his two prey and sat near the nursery. He wolfed down on the first mouse, filling his growling stomach. Blacklightnings paws hurt from his patrols today, he was looking forward to a nice grooming and a long restful sleep. Glancing over to his left, he spotted Poppyshine. The pregnant she-cat still looked pretty, even with that shameful look look on her face. Maybe she could share this mouse with me and help me get that nagging spot on my back, He thought as he scooted over to her. "Hey, Poppyshine. You wanna share this with me? You need to eat extra anyways don't you?" He nudged the mouse her way.

[Icestorm]

The dark queen's ears perked as Blacklightning said her name. "Huh?" She turned to look at him. She noticed the kill he had with him, she hadn't thought she was hungry until he offered. She knew she shouldn't. The kill could go to someone who needed it more than her. She tried to smile to him though, it was a forced smile - not her usual kind and happy one. "Oh umm thank you Blacklightning bu-" she stopped herself as he nudged the mouse her way. She looked to the mouse and then back to him. Why? Why would he share with me? Wasn't he disgusted with me? She couldn't place his reason and that worried her.

[Deleted]

"Queens are suppose to eat a lot, aren't they? Well, I mean, I could be wrong but I always thought that they needed to eat to help their kits grow stronger, right? Take a few bites, Poppyshine." Blacklightning nonchalantly licked his paw and dragged it over his ear several times. The tom was fully aware of the she-cats complicated relationship and pregnancy. After hearing Froststar's decision, he felt like it was the right choice to let Poppyshine stay. Despite not actually knowing who the father was of the kits, kits were kits and Leafclan needed strong warriors for the future. "We all know that you regret what happened, Poppyshine." He gave he a quick glance before continuing his grooming. "but, that doesn't mean you should let that hold you or your kits back. Leafclan will always accept you and your kits." He spoke kind words but in a flat tone. Blacklightning wasn't the type of cat to comfort a clanmate but, for some odd reason, seeing her in discomfort pricked at his side. Though he couldn't quite figure out why, he felt like he should try to help her feel better. It must be hard being pregnant without a mate, Blacklightning thought. For a moment, he remembered that loner she-cat who had two kits of her own. Although he had clearly caught her hunting on Leafclan territory, he allowed her to keep the prey, saddened by the sight of the two kits, with their ribs showing under their pelts. As long as she's hear, we are still clanmates who need to support each other, he thought.

[Icestorm]

Poppyshine listened to him, she knew he was right. As a queen she had to think about her kits, not just her. Especially with leaf-bare in full swing. She let out a heavy sigh. The mouse did make her mouth water. She just couldn't seem to get herself to accept it. Before she could say anything though she heard him mention her mistake.

The black she-cat felt her heart stop. She looked to the tom beside her with hide questioning eyes. She felt like she couldn't breath. Regret? That seemed like an understatement to her. She thought love could make everything alright, but it was all thrown right in her face. She looked to her paws when he looked to her, "What I did, is beyond regret right now. I really messed up Blacklightning," she looked up the sky closing her eyes for a moment before turning to him, "and my kits. They will suffer because of it." No matter how Froststar promised the kits would be treated normal, she couldn't help but worry. So many born half-clan were not treated the same, and her kits would be the same as them.