A Black Void (Open)

[Midnight]

Mousepaw was a kitten again, curled up happily by his loving mother's belly, purring, dozing off.
He was suckling, fighting his siblings for food.

He was named an apprentice by Briarclaw, a bit disappointed that it wasn't his mother who had named him, but proud nevertheless. "Look, Mom, I'm an apprentice now!"

He was sleeping again, and far off, in MidnightClan's territory, she had given birth to a litter he didn't even know she was carrying. She had gone into MidnightClan's camp, temporarily leaving her kittens behind, and there, she had died.


Mousepaw trembled in his nest, having just thrown up his breakfast. He couldn't take it. He didn't even get to say "goodbye" or tell her he loved her, which he would've done in an instant if she hadn't been ripped away from him from the despicable MidnightClanners who kidnapped her.

Why did everything have to turn out so badly? It wasn't that he didn't think Briarstar would make a good leader, as he definitely believed she had it in her, but in order for her to be leader, Pebblestar had to die, and Mousepaw never thought the day would come so... suddenly, so weirdly. He always expected her to be old, maybe even sick, and he thought he'd be able to go talk to her, maybe lie with her as she left for StarClan. It wasn't going to be pleasant no matter what happened, but why did his mother have to go so savagely?

One apprentice had told Mousepaw to go to Duskflame, as he'd been throwing up ever since he learned of his mother's death. He wanted to, in a way, but he didn't have the energy or the motivation to get up. A few worried peers took turns bringing him watery moss and prey to keep him sustained, but nothing stayed down, and Mousepaw didn't feel like doing anything. He hadn't seen his mentor in some time, so he hadn't a clue what was going on there.

Snowsplash had disappeared a long time ago. It never really bothered Mousepaw that his father wasn't around. On the other hand, Pebblestar had been extremely important to him, and she was the only cat he felt really close to. He loved her dearly, and now that she was gone, he wished Snowsplash was still around, if only to have someone to talk to about it. Duskflame? What did she know about this? She was just the medicine cat who'd done something terrible and was told she'd be leaving the Clan once she trained an apprentice. Would she even care? Briarstar was probably too excited about her new position to be giving any pity to Mousepaw.

There had to be someone he could talk to about this, someone who would listen. This was a Clan, there were cats whose parents died left and right. but how many of them would actually take time out of their day to lend an ear to a mopey, miserable mess of a tomcat?

[Lionhearted]

The light shown in his eyes as Deadpaw blinked. Then, he jerked awake at the sound of something retching.

A smell filled the den, and he wrinkled his nose. Mousepaw again. He did not know the other tomcat well, and his only knowledge of the cat was that he was Pebblestar's son. "'Sup, Mousepaw?" he asked, slightly irritated. Yeah, his mom had died, but why was he puking everyday? "Are you okay?"

[Midnight]

For a while, Mousepaw said nothing. Why did he have to answer to this piece of foxdung? He hissed in response, shoving his partially-digested breakfast away from him, then washing his paw and curling up tighter in his nest.

Several minutes passed, and the grief become unbearable. Mousepaw had to spill it to someone, even if they were going to rude and distasteful, as Deadpaw probably would be. "My mother was kidnapped for several moons, then she was killed by the MidnightClan leader. What do you think? Am I okay, Deadpaw?"

[Lionhearted]

Deadpaw shrugged. "That's what I'm asking you," he replied simply, not wanting to sound overly rude. "I'm sorry Pebblestar was... was... joined StarClan, all right? I seriously am. If that's why you're puking, you're not living it right. Toughen up, and go live your life. Keep Pebblestar alive by helping TalonClan- her Clan. Our Clan.

"And by living I don't mean just moping. Right now, you're just not dying. Living and not dying- they're two different things."

[Deleted]

Stonepaw awoke to the sound of Mousepaw's unceasing vomiting. He tried to simply cover his ears and return to his peaceful sleep, but now Deadpaw was talking too, and sleep became impossible. Finally, with a bit of grumbling, Stonepaw got up and stretched.

"Morning," he said, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "What's all the fuss about? I've got training today and was trying to sleep beforehand," he mewed, trying not to let the irritation show in his voice.

[Twineheart]

Redpaw was having another nightmare. It was the same as all the others he had, terrible and full of hurtful words. The pain was almost unbearable and caused the tom to thrash in his sleep. His large fluffy reddish tabby and white form twitching and jerking as he fought to awaken from his nightmare. but as suddenly as it had come it left, and he awoke with a gasp. Blinking open his golden amber gaze rapidly he sits up and pants. Glancing around it didn't take him long to figure out what has awoken him. The smell of puke and voices of his fellow apprentices. Wondering if they'd noticed his thrashing he flicks his ears back and tries to take a deep calming breath. Meanwhile his thick slightly tufted ears flicker upwards to catch the conversation.

Redpaw recognized the other apprentices. He didn't know them but he had seen them around. He was terrible with names however and could only remember Mousepaw's since he had been Pebblestar's son. He catches Stonepaw's words and titled his head still trying to clear it of his nightmare. He could understand why Mousepaw was a mess. Losing your mother so young and so suddenly must of been heart wrenching... Well if you were close with your mother that was. His mother had never bothered with him, and because of that he'd never felt like he'd even had one. but the feeling of loss was no stranger to the tom. His sister's death had ripped him apart and left him a mess. A mess with two parents who didn't give a mouse dung about him.

" I'm sure you could fall back asleep if you tried hard enough." He says sort of surprising himself. It wasn't often he opted to join a conversation he hadn't been invited to. but then again who else was going to defend Mousepaw? The other apprentices seemed only to care about their beauty sleep and since he was accustomed to little to no sleep he needn't worry about such things. " Mousepaw didn't ask to be sick." He adds golden eyes flickering from each of the three toms before him. " So stop whining and go back to sleep or get out of his face." He says, flickering his luxurious plume of a tail, gaze serious. Still surprised by the words slipping from his maw. When finished he falls silent, his eyes remaining on Stonepaw and Deadpaw. Wondering if he should of opened his mouth at all.

[Flight of the Thunderbird]

Stumpypaw sat quietly at the back of the apprentice den, unnoticed. His blue eyes glowed in the darkness and he watched the four cats argue (or were they just having a conversation) with slight amusement, but also a mixed bundle of all sorts of other feelings. He was awake to see Mousepaw throw up and he felt sorry for him. Sorry for his loss. Sorry that he had to face the pain. Most cats thought of him as a firey-tempered furball who thought they were the opposite gender. No. He was supposed to be a male. Period. but no one knew how he felt inside. Inside he was a kind, caring, helpful cat. He just wondered why he couldn't let it out. but this particular situation struck something inside of Stumpypaw. Like.. Maybe he could try to help?
And then he heard Deadpaw say, "I'm sorry Pebblestar was... was... joined StarClan, all right? I seriously am. If that's why you're puking, you're not living it right. Toughen up, and go live your life. Keep Pebblestar alive by helping TalonClan- her Clan. Our Clan. And by living I don't mean just moping. Right now, you're just not dying. Living and not dying- they're two different things."
And by living I don't mean moping. Right now, you're just not dying. Living and not dying- they're two different things.
It reminded Stumpypaw of loss. How it felt to lose a loved one. Multiple loved ones. And boy, it hurt. It hurt more than anyone could imagine. Unless, of course, they struggled the loss themselves.
This gave Stumpypaw hope. Maybe I could give Mousepaw hope, he thought. Maybe. It never hurts to try, right? The black cat padded out of the shadows he was hiding, the shadows of the back. He walked right up the the spot where Mousepaw was and avoided the just freshly thrown-up remains of what was once fresh-kill.
"Look, he said. "I know how hard it is to lose a loved one. And I have. Multiple times. All of us took the.. passing away of you mother hard, and I know, especially you, because she's one of the closest people in your life. The one who gave birth to you. The one who raised you. And I know, I've lost my mother as well. but do you know, do you know," Stumpypaw gave Mousepaw a soft glance, "Did you know, if you think hard enough, if you remember hard enough, if you believe hard enough, you'll find that Pebblestar will always be with you, maybe not physically, but she will always be resting with you, here." Stumpypaw lightly tapped Mousepaw's heart with his paw. "And you'll know that your mother will always be with you, and she'll be watching over you and she'll be proud of everything you do."
Stumpypaw smiled faintly. Hopefully that made him feel better.
Tags- Midnight, Lionhearted, @fawnstar, Twineheart

[Otterpotter]

The small apprentice was curled up on the back of the den watching all the commotion . Mistypaw wanted to comfort Mousepaw, but she didn't really know what to say. The light grey cat was hoping no one would ask her why she was talking. Or maybe why she wasn't trying to help out. Her ears were laid back as they were usually when she was around other cats who she didn't know very well.

[Snowfeather]

Honeypaw blinked open her eyes to see Mousepaw being comforted by Stumpypaw. She got to her paws and made her way over to them. She was a new apprentice with no mentor yet, but she was deeply concerned about Mousepaw.

"Mousepaw? Are you okay? Do you need me to take you to the medicine cat?," she asked?

Honeypaw wanted to be a medicine cat so bad, but didn't think the medicine cat would accept it from a cat so young. The least she could do was help get patients treated and help once in a while. She sat on the other side of Mousepaw and started to stroke his back with her tail.