I Get the Feeling That it's Too Late

[Babylonranger]

He was alone at the moment, watching the living slumber in their nests. The blue-gray tom with a white mantle sighed, his brown eyes dulled with disappointment. He had no reason to believe he'd be allowed to visit his sister this night, not when he'd been blocked from seeing her so often.

Those who had been part of Starclan for longer surely had their reasons, Juniperpaw was sure, even if he couldn't discern them. but perhaps tonight . . . perhaps tonight would be different.

The former Midnightclan apprentice took a deep breath and began searching for his sister's dreams. He needed to talk with her, needed to try to get through to her. If he could just make her understand . . . .

He blinked, astonished at what he saw. He'd found her. He'd actually - finally - found Blueshade. Shocked at his luck, Juniperpaw dove into the troubled warrior's dreams without further thought. The pair had too much to catch up on to hesitate.

"Blueshade!" he called out, desperate for her voice. Slowly the dream around him turned into a clearing, a copy of one the two of them had been in many times in their youth. And so, Juniperpaw waited anxiously for his sister to realize who was calling her.

Carotius

[Carotius]

Sleep had some easily for the blue-grey she-cat, her furry tail curled neatly over her paws and nose as she settled into her nest in the warriors' den of MidnightClan. She was not as tired as one would need for speedy sleep, but part of her felt obliged to head to bed earlier than she normally would. After all, she'd done her part for the Clan today with the border patrol, though it was to the LeafClan border rather than the river they shared with the stink-pelts from the pine forest. Whatever. She should be well-rested if she wanted revenge to be complete.

Blueshade opened her jade eyes to a foggy environment, the ground smooth and cold beneath her paws. The air was still and quiet, such that a single twitch of her tail or a click of the claw against the ground echoed eerily in all directions, very much like a gigantic cavern of terrible dangers. She wondered if this was the Dark Forest, half-expecting her mentor Mousestrike to appear from the gloom with that familiar greenish-yellow gaze that stood out against the otherwise dull grey pelt. If it was so, then she had to admit, the living cat wasn't ready for another training session just yet.

Before the MidnightClan warrior could do anything, the scenery around swiftly faded into colour, inky blackness giving way to splashes of blue, brown, and green, brightly lit by the golden rays of sunshine filtering through the thick canopy of oak trees that stood tall above her head. The still silence was quickly filled up by the rustling of leaves in the breeze and the chittering of birds perching in the tree boughs. She no longer felt smooth and cold ground beneath her - it was replaced by slight warmth, and the crumbly texture of sand intermixed with grass and stone. Why does this place look...familiar? She glanced around, stoic face slowly contorting into evident confusion as to the change of scenery that tugged at her distant memories.

"Blueshade!"

That voice. Blueshade whipped her head around, green eyes wide and searching for the source of the voice, though her fur was bristling in apprehension, thinking this was just a trick to lull her into false security. There was no way she was going to allow something to sneak up on her - she was going to prove how deadly it was to mess with a vengeful MidnightClanner. She set herself into a defensive stance, claws unsheathed and lips curled into a snarl, teeth bared threateningly. Once whoever it was showed themselves, she was going to pin the to the floor and bite down, ask questions later.

For all the training Blueshade had done as an apprentice, she was never prepare for what happened next. The patch of clearing in front of her warped out, slowly molding itself into the form of another cat, one that was smaller and younger than her, though with a body shape that, once again, appeared familiar. Soon, its transparency gave out to colours of blue-grey and white, with brown eyes that glowed brightly in the sunlight, looking at her almost desperately, like it yearned for her for who-knows-how-long. Only then did Blueshade freeze in her place.

"J...Juniperpaw?"

[Babylonranger]

The cat of Starclan watched his sister tense at the sound of his voice, saw her whirl around angry and defensive but unable to see him. Mentally berating himself for forgetting to take a visible form, the blue-gray tom took a moment to coalesce into something Blueshade could see. And, maybe touch?

"J...Juniperpaw?"

The necessity of breathing no longer applied to Juniperpaw, not since he'd died. Hearing his sister say his name, her voice filled with grief, disbelief, and yearning, made him feel like something had slammed into him, had driven the air from his body. "It worked," he said, shaking with disbelief. "It finally worked!" The former Midnightclan apprentice's voice cracked in a sob and he took a step forward, hoping to feel her one more time - and that she wouldn't box his ears off.

[Carotius]

Juniperpaw.

For so many moons, Blueshade had had that name imprinted into the desolate recesses of her mind, calling out to it endlessly in her mind and in her heart, in the dreams that seemed empty whenever she went to sleep. She never got a reply, never caught sight of a strand of greyish-blue fur, nor did she EVER catch a single whiff of the scent she yearned for. Not even the faintest scent... Since her apprentice days, the ones where she was forced to complete alone, the long-furred she-cat had felt nothing less than lonely and upset, knowing that her brother was no longer by her side. There were to be no more of their mock fights. There were to be no more mini competitions of who was better. There was to be no more pressing against each other for warmth when the cold nights set in, or the thunderstorms boomed overhead.

There was to be no more Juniperpaw.

The young tom took a step forwards, reaching out his muzzle to touch Blueshade where her cheek was. Blueshade's mind raced. Could Juniperpaw touch her, even if he was dead? Even if it was a dream? Was her lost brother as tangible as he was opaque? The blue-grey warrior of MidnightClan opened her muzzle, wanting to say something, but all that came out was a breathy puff of air, one that filled with disbelief and later shock as the solid feeling of bone, muscle, and fur brushed against her cheek. She felt her breath hitch. He's real. Juniperpaw was tangible, not just a floating apparition in her mind - he was as real as he had been when he was alive, before...

The living cat pushed her own muzzle into the white mantle of her brother, breathing in the familiar warming scent of his soft fur she had grown up with...and later without. Her remaining days as apprentice, and the first few moons as warrior, were cold and barren without him, for the parents had moved on faster than she could. but they did not develop the one feeling harbouring deep within her. They did not develop the bitterness and hatred she allowed to fester in her, feelings that were aimed towards the StormClan cats who technically killed Juniperpaw. You would have been here with me.

Growling, Blueshade shoved a paw heavily against Juniperpaw's chest, her head twisting to fasten her teeth on the tom's ears. "You numbnut! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

[Babylonranger]

Juniperpaw closed his tear-filled brown eyes as he drew closer, not wanting to see if it turned out he was insubstantial - if he would not be able to touch Blueshade after all this time and heartache. He stretched forward with his muzzle and exhaled shakily as his nose touched fur. Nuzzling her cheek, the blue-grey tom felt tears escape his closed eyes, and he barely held back a whimper when Blueshade pressed her own muzzle into his neck.

He had almost forgotten her scent, the base oaky scent of Midnightclan with a hint of acorns and . . . . The cat of Starclan inhaled, trying to place the last note of her fragrance. It was sweet, with a hint of tartness. It made him think of the berries that grew in the brambles in their clan's territory and Juniperpaw felt a tinge in his chest to think that Blueshade's scent had changed, had grown with her while he'd stayed stagnant and unchanging for more than twenty moons now.

Her growl startled him from his thoughts. The blue-gray tom jerked his head back, his eyes opening wide, but he wasn't fast enough to escape his larger sister. Pinned in place with her teeth sinking into his ears, Juniperpaw almost missed her bitter question as he shrieked in surprise and pain. Good grief, if she tore his ears off when he was already dead that would really depress him.

"You numbnut! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

He hissed and stepped from paw to paw, wanting to escape her grip but not daring in case it did permanent damage. "OW! Blueshade, you - ow! - feather-brained fluffhead - OW! Let go of me! I've tried to get through to you for moons but I kept getting blocked!"

[Carotius]

OOC: Not to worry, he won't lose an ear!

---

The realisation that Juniperpaw was as tangible as any living creature or being that existed within the waking world which Blueshade tread gave the she-cat quite a satisfaction of punishing her long-dead brother, albeit minor and not as severe as the one she had nearly given their liar of a father, Iceshade. In this otherworldly realm of dreams, where things could fade into dust within seconds without you doing anything, one had to be extra cautious with whatever was in their sight. For living warrior, she had to be sure if she was in a regular dream, or a training session with her Dark Forest mentor.

This time, she had proven beyond reasonable doubt that she was in a clearing with her brother, a clearing that suddenly occurred to her being familiar and full of memories. It was here, so long ago, where she had trained with him, tumbling around in the dirt with mock snarls of fury, pretending one was either a stinky StormClan cat or a rotten LeafClanner, both of which reeked of their respective scents anyway. That clearing was also the place they had the most fun in, challenging each other to see who could hunt the most or jump the highest, or who could hide from the other better.

but now... aheh, well, now was a different story.

Blueshade smirked to herself as her younger brother began to howl in pain, though a sense of longing and long-forgotten happiness crept from within her and filled her inner self to the very tips of her long pelt. Still remembering to call me a fluffhead, eh? Been so long... She released her toothy grip on the tom's ears, stepping back to look over his whole body in full view; the brother of hers had not grown, maintaining the same stature as he had last been seen when he fell through the ice.

"Why in the world would StarClan block you? You're my brother who got his lungs filled with ice water and left me behind for moons!" the last few words were said bitterly, though the rest of it was more curiosity than anything.

[Babylonranger]

The blue-gray tom gasped in relief as Blueshade released him. Stepping back as well, he pawed at his ears, partly to make sure they were still there, and partly to dull the pain. Juniperpaw supposed his sister was entitled to a free hit, if only because it had been an absurdly long time since he'd talked to her. but biting his ears? That bordered on a cruelty he hadn't noticed in her before.

"I'm aware of all that, thanks," he snapped, brown eyes narrowed. "Has it occurred to you that the block is specific to you?" Juniperpaw sat, tail twitching irritably. "I've been able to visit other warriors in dreams or when they've come to the Skyfield, but every time I tried to contact you I was stopped."

The former Midnightclan apprentice paused for a moment, turning his gaze away from her. "Imagine my surprise," he said softly, "when a young murdered queen joined our number some moons ago and described your face as the last she saw."

[Carotius]

Juniperpaw's countenance changed relatively quickly once the living warrior released him. He had turned away, his voice now soft, carrying sadness and...a tinge of accusation. The she-cat narrowed her eyes at him. Accusation? It wasn't disbelief or despair, not even anger. Her spiritual brother was lacing his voice with accusation and it was possibly for something as ridiculous as- ...oh. The young queen of StormClan had spoken to her new Clanmates, it seemed, and Juniperpaw just happened to hear of it. It was probable that the whole of StarClan would eventually hear of how their new Clanmates died to join their starry ranks.

Blueshade did not respond immediately. She simply stood there, tail curled over her back as she padded a few steps perpendicular to the younger tom, her gaze sweeping over the projected images of the clearing that surrounded her; her Dark Forest mentor's lesson rang in her head, of not being too quick to defend herself or let anything be given away. She had had some training with this herself, and she knew her mentor would be proud if she were here, at the very least. Even if that grey furball acts grumpy half the time.

"A young queen murdered? That's unfortunate news for all Clans," she replied, rooting herself near a holly bush and giving it a sniff.

[Babylonranger]

His brown gaze returned to Blueshade, watching her as the silence grew between them. Juniperpaw's heart sank, and he closed his eyes, unable to bear looking at his sister. The blue-gray tom had hoped she would give him an explanation, or even an excuse. but nothing?

And when she did speak, it was as if the Midnightclan warrior was trying to convince him she'd had nothing to do with Sheepflower's murder. Juniperpaw opened his eyes, filled with disappointment and incredulity. "Right," he whispered softly, tucking his long-furred tail close to his body. If Blueshade was trying to lie to him, then he did not see that there was anything more he could do for her. Juniperpaw's chest ached and he pulled his forelegs in closer, trying not to feel like he would fall apart. He could do that later, when his sister wasn't there to watch.

"I don't know why you're trying to hide it from me," he said, hollowly. "I did what I could to keep an eye on you, through the moons, even though I couldn't make contact. I watched -." He choked, throat closing in horror. No, no not here. Not in front of her. Swallowing back his tears, Juniperpaw continued. "This path you've chosen, Blueshade. I know where it leads, and if you stay on it I will not be able to follow where you go."

"I made my peace with my death. If you insist on continuing your quest for revenge, I ask that you don't do it in my name." As if that would stop her, the blue-gray tom thought defeatedly. He was too late, and because of that he was losing his sister.

[Carotius]

OOC: ONE-LINER END.

---

At that, Blueshade spun around, lips curled back into a terrible snarl as her emerald eyes glowed with the dangerous likeness to fire. The long fur bristled and bushed out, tail kinked threateningly over her back as she took deliberate steps towards her now-startled brother; the steps were very much like the legends of the big cats in the past, prowling slowly and with a strange aura of power that tended to scare the lesser beings. The blue-grey she-cat did not stop until she was a full body's length away from Juniperpaw, the blazing fire in her eyes toning down to cold shards of green.

"You're disappointed in me, Juniperpaw? Ha.. Haha! Then maybe you should have visited me much earlier, probably to prevent all this. Oh wait, that's right..." she spat at her brother's paws, her bristling fur making her look very much like a blue-furred fox whose cubs had been taken and killed. "You were too busy moping in StarClan, moping over your stupid mistake of jumping onto the frozen river when your mentor specifically told you not to! You were a mouse-brained fool, and still are, just like our liar of a father!" 

The she-cat thrust her face forward, stopping just inches from Juniperpaw's nose, locking her green gaze and boring it down deep into the pair of brown oculars. What was originally a tearful reunion between siblings quickly turned into a terrible exchange of furious snarls, more on the part of the living warrior that looked ready to strike down the dead apprentice again. And this time, it could, without a doubt, end with one lying dead...permanently, in their own ways. The MidnightClan warrior unsheathed her claws, though her expression suddenly toned down to stoic coolness, the composure no longer that of hostility or aggression. but the cold flames remained in her eyes, even if the snarl was gone.

"You left me to suffer loneliness and heartache. I waited ages for you to come back but you never came!" she turned away and began padding towards the hole of darkness that had sliced through the otherwise bright image of the clearing, and it wasn't long before the entire place began to shimmer and slowly fade away into inky blackness, the air began as cold as leaf-bare frost. "This is our first meet in so long, and yet...yet you insinuate it'll be our last. If that's the way you want it..."

She swung her head around to look at him, an eerie light rimming her emerald gaze, her fangs bared once more.

"Then abandon me for the last time."

[Babylonranger]

Aching as he was, Juniperpaw felt oddly numb and detached once his sister turned around and launched into her vitriolic diatribe against him. He could see the murder in her green eyes, fiery one moment then icy shards the next, and yet the white-mantled tom couldn't even find the strength to flinch. What did it matter if Blueshade struck him down, gave him a second, more permanent death? He had failed her, though the events that had led to this catastrophe had been utterly out of his slim control.

Brown eyes blinked dully as the former Midnightclan apprentice took in only a few angry words of his sister's rant. He was a fool, that much was true. He'd thought, hoped rather, that he could talk Blueshade down, but she'd become embittered and a stranger to him in their moons apart. Even the dream environment reflected the siblings' discord; darkening with despair and rage while a brumal chill drove out the warmth of their remembered youth. Juniperpaw watched Blueshade turn her back to him, looking back with glowing eyes and bared teeth.

"Then abandon me for the last time."

He closed his eyes, unable to hold back his tears any longer. "I didn't abandon you willingly then," he said, broken. "And I'm not the one who's walking away now. Whatever you may think." He felt the darkness press closer, signaling that his sister was close to returning to the waking world. "I still love you, and I always will, even though you and I will never walk together in Starclan."

Opening his eyes, Juniperpaw saw that the clearing and his sister were gone. He was back in Starclan. Alone. A hiccoughy sob burst forth from his throat and he sank to the ground crying harshly into his paws. Mourning his sister and dreading what she would do next.