A Discussion [Tagged]

[Rogue]

Lionhearted

Ashfrost paused outside of Thrushstar's den, his tail lashing.  He had been thinking about their discussion the other day, and he felt the need to let the leader know that.  Unfortunately, he wasn't that good at socializing.  Just standing outside of the leader's den was making his paws prickle, and he felt like every cat in the Clan was staring at him.  After casting a quick glance around to assure himself that no one was looking at him, he ducked inside, not wanting to give himself the time to back out.

It was a little dark inside, but Ashfrost could make out the ginger and white pelt of Thrushstar, sitting by his nest.  The grey-spotted warrior paused and took a deep breath before respectfully bowing his head. "I apologize for just barging in here, Thrushstar, but I was wondering if maybe we could talk?" 

[Lionhearted]

"I apologize for just barging in here, Thrushstar, but I was wondering if maybe we could talk?"

The leader had been dozing off, and Ashfrost's voice jerked him awake. For a moment, Thrushstar blinked blearily at the tom standing in front of his nest-- in his den?

No greeting, eh? Just an apology for doing something he already knew he shouldn't have done. Taking a moment to compose himself, Thrushstar remained crouched in his nest, addressing Ashfrost with an irritable look in his eyes indicating that he was still annoyed with the warrior's interruption.

"Well, hello there," he said somewhat cooly. Sighing, he decided to get to his point. "First and foremost, Ashfrost, know that I will be glad to talk to you any time you need. However, please understand that this is my private den, and it should stay that way. You might very well have interrupted a private conversation I was having with someone else, or something else. Unless things are urgent, I encourage you to wait outside until you are invited in, for future things." The world doesn't revolve around you, and you don't get to go where you want, especially here. You know that, he thought, his annoyance with being woken up suddenly combining with the irritation he felt from the intrusion. I'm not going to snap at him. He's still young. And I promised myself I'd do less of that. His eyes glittering slightly, Thrushstar sat up and stretched leisurely. "And I take it that you want to keep this between us, so we might as well stay here. What would you like to say?"

[Rogue]

Ashfrost flattened his ears, silently berating himself for being so daft. He hadn't considered Thrushstar's privacy when he had just strolled on into his den, and now he felt even more like a mouse-brain. Idiot, why didn't you call in here first? Bowing his head out of respect and shame, he muttered, "Forgive me. I didn't think to call out first. I'll respect your privacy in the future." At Thrushstar's next question, he gave a soft sigh and slowly sat down in front of the leader, tucking his long-furred tail over his paws. "I have been...thinking about our talk the other day," he said slowly. "About how I should better myself. I've been trying, but I must admit that it's difficult." Pausing a moment, the grey-furred warrior added, "When you told me your story, I couldn't help but notice how similar it is to my own. Forgive me if you don't want me bringing it up, but I thought that maybe you would understand me better than others in our Clan."

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar blinked. "I've learned to let that story go," he said in a kinder tone. "And you should learn to let your own story go, too. I decided to start anew, and to start over. Sure, there would probably be permanent scars in my life. but gradually, you won't feel those scars anymore.

"As for 'bettering' yourself, I can't tell you exactly how to do it. The path is different for everyone, but you must remember this: know that there are others in your life. There's always good cats and bad cats, but in my opinion, there's more good cats than bad. Once in a while, you might stumble upon someone you'll consider 'bad.' That's okay, and it happens to all of us. but you must never be the bad one. Everyone's opinion of everyone else is different, and it's impossible to try to please everyone. I know for a fact that not everyone in WhisperClan likes me, but I'm glad that the majority does. And that's what matters. Trying to make as many cats around you as happy as they can. You must be considerate of their feelings. They're not rocks, you know, and neither are you. How would you feel if someone kept bossing you around? Kept demanding things from you? Not pleased, eh? Same goes for all of us. If someone's grouchy, they might have a reason to be. Try to talk to them, instead of ignoring them. Is that what you're trying to ask me?"

[Rogue]

(Lionhearted Sorry for such a delay on this >.<)

Ashfrost listened very closely to Thrushstar's words, hardly moving a muzzle as his leader spoke. Thrushstar's opinion had become one that was very valuable to him, and he maintained eye contact with the ginger and white tom the entire time that he was talking. When Thrushstar finished speaking, he mulled over what he had said, turning the words over in his mind. He thought suddenly of Echopaw, and how she had restored his faith in other cats. He thought also about his mother and his mentor. It seemed as if their ghosts had always haunted him, but lately it felt like the weight of their deaths was lifting off of his shoulders. Since his last talk with Thrushstar, he had been working to forgive himself, and it seemed like it was finally happening.

"I understand," the grey-spotted warrior said softly. "I have to forgive myself and move on. My habit of shoving cats away and treating everyone coldly was a product of my grief. I cannot change the past, nor can I make my father or sisters forgive me. However, I can shape the future. Slowly killing myself helps no one, and it is not what my mother or mentor would have wanted for me." Ashfrost closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, envisioning all of his ill feelings and grief leaving his body at the same time.

After a moment, he opened his eyes again, suddenly feeling at peace. He met Thrushstar's gaze steadily, the scar above his right eye no longer bothering him. "Thank you, Thrushstar," he murmured gratefully, dipping his head to his leader. "You've helped me in more ways than one, and I will be forever grateful. You're a great cat and a strong leader, and one of the few cats I've ever told my story to. I consider you a friend, and you will always have my support." Ashfrost wasn't sure how much his support would mean to Thrushstar, but his respect had grown immensely for the tom and he wanted to express it somehow.

[Lionhearted]

Thrushstar nodded. Though he was geniunely touched by Ashfrost's words, he definitely wasn't going to show any sappy feelings. The pale ginger-and-white tom was not one to cry, yowl, or whine so easily anymore. Something had glazed over his face, making it stoic and impassive even as he smiled inwardly at the gray tom's promise. "Thank you," he said, stiffly but not abruptly. His eyes softened, conveying some emotion over his simple and succinct words. "Now, if you do not have any questions, you are dismissed. Today is a salubrious day, and I suggest you get outside and live your life. Have some fun, Ashfrost, and stop to smell the flowers once in a while. They smell quite nice."