What do I do about them? || Tagged

[Carotius]

Lionhearted
OOC: Surprise! I've been sitting on the idea of Adderfoot moping about once more since Thrushstar earned his name, and that he needs some kind of motivation to reconcile with his family. So...here. owo 

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The tabby didn't care what anybody else had to say; he was going to take a walk in the meadows, just to get some air and hopefully clear up the chesty cough that had been plaguing him and most of his Clanmates for the past moon or so. Had it been a moon already? He couldn't tell. He and the other greencough-stricken cats were cooped up in the medicine cat's den since forever, and the best part was the ironic lack of a medicine cat. It was a grudgingly good thing Nightpoppy travelled over from the pine forest to help the Clan.

Unlike that group of mouse-brains who left WhisperClan, claiming to do it for the sake of the Clan's survival.

Adderfoot sighed heavily, the exhalation of breath mutated by a faint wheezing and bubbling of phlegm. Sickly green eyes flickered towards the apprentices den, staring deep into the shadowed area like he could make out a pelt or two. He was trying to. The brown tom wanted to catch glimpses of his kin - Harepaw, Squirrelpaw, and Cinderpaw - who just returned from their self-exile. He didn't come out when they did, though; the warrior had surrendered to fatigue. And while he was away in the sick bay? One of the queens aided in taking care of Thornkit, his youngest and only daughter from his time with... Dawnthorn. How long has it been since my butterfly left?

"Thrushstar, are you in? I need to speak with yo-" a violent bout of coughing interrupted his words, racking his tired body with spasms that ached every muscle he had. The thought of him dying at this very point was met with slight hope to finally reunite with his mate, but a strange sense of fear struck his heart at the very moment he drew a shuddering breath to speak again. "Don't send me back to the medicine cat's den. You know how long it took you to make stubborn me obey that particular order the last time."

The chuckle that followed was weak, quickly turning into another round of coughing, though the tom managed to get it back under control within a few heartbeats. Swallowing thickly, he pushed his way into the gloom of the den, blinking his eyes rapidly to adjust to the lack of light.

[Lionhearted]

OOC: Yay surprise :3 thank you!

Thrushstar had dozed off in his den, tired from a day of ordering cats around. He had closed his eyes, and was nodding towards unconsciousness, but in the background he heard pawsteps approaching his den, and twitched his ears, refusing to open his eyes unless necessary. Tiredness racked his body, and he was glad to be lying in his nest, taking a break. Newleaf was approaching slowly, and he was glad that it was, because it meant less chances of cats receiving more of the greencough, and more kits. However, it definitely wasn't the best time to be having them.

Adderfoot's scent wafted into his nostrils, and he blinked his eyes open, raising his head, seeing the warrior by the entrance. Glad to see him up and about, thought Thrushstar, relieved that it wasn't a younger cat, or one of those other cats who had left on their "trip to protect themselves from greencough." His patience was wearing thin for them, and he didn't want to give another lecture about loyalty. but Adderfoot seemed to know enough about that already.

"Thrushstar, are you in? I need to speak with yo-" said Adderfoot, but broke off, erupting into a fit of coughs and hacks. Alarmed, Thrushstar sat up, now awake, peering at Adderfoot in concern. However, before he could open his mouth, the other tom continued with a firm, "don't send me back to the medicine cat's den. You know how long it took you to make stubborn me obey that particular order the last time." Then, the warrior pushed his way in. Well... I'm not going to correct him on intruding. He's got enough on his paws already.

Slightly amused by the warriors' defiance and pride, Thrushstar let out a small half-smile, half-smirk. "Come in, Adderfoot, but leave those coughs by the entrance, eh?" Flicking his tail, he patted Adderfoot's shoulder lightly with his striped tail. "I'm just kidding. How are you, Adderfoot? You may speak to me about anything. I'm here to listen, so go ahead." Sitting down again, he gave his best smile to the tom, hoping to make the formerly-grieving cat more comfortable.

[Carotius]

Lionhearted

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Once the warrior had settled down in the space ahead of the leader, he couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness creep up his legs from the ground below him, as if the floor of Thrushstar's den was made solely of ice. I don't know this feeling...do I? He twitched his nose at the thought, wondering if his coming words were contrary to the outer appearance that WhisperClan had known him for, that of a prideful and temperamental tom who'd snap at the nearest kit for disturbing the neat order of things.

Adderfoot sighed, resting his green gaze on the ginger-white tom. The realisation finally hit him. He'd felt lonely since his mate's death, and was given a kind of reprieve when the cat before him - then a deputy - came to his side as comfort; the recovery had been rough and utterly slowed down by the onslaught of the sickness, but apart from that, the brown warrior managed to climb out from most his deep-rooted grief, and find means to spend time with his little daughter. And then it got lonely again... He flattened his ears against his head. Ever since Fangstar's disappearance, and the rise of the new leader, Adderfoot had found himself alone once more, coughing and hacking with the others in the medicine cat's den, while his kin were all out somewhere doing something.

Tail tip twitching listlessly, he murmured whatever he could make out from his cluttered mind, "It must be a great thing for you, to earn your leader's name, and still be with the kin who you care mutually for." He raised his head, unable to hold back the expression of sadness that had been bugging to be shown for the past moon or so that he remembered. "Do you know what it means to be forgotten?"

[Lionhearted]

OOC: Heart to heart time <3

"Do you know what it means to be forgotten?"

Thrushstar's muscles twitched as he almost leapt up at those words. Yes, he wanted to scream. Yes, someone understands. Someone knows what it's like to be lonely for a long, long time. Especially when someone who has made you feel complete has left. but he stayed where he was, and simply blinked in understanding. Taking a pause to compose himself, he spoke gravelly and with control and caution:

"Yes," he sighed, "I really do. I don't think you were born when this happened, so let me tell you about my sister." His eyes clouded, and he bowed his head. "As you may know, I have two brothers. Or had. Frostberry is still alive in this camp. Goldenfox is dead, killed by a fox. Ironic, hm? No one could deny they were great warriors. They thought so themselves, too, and grew to become so high and mighty that they looked down and ignored anyone who they considered was 'below' them. So when I came around, they looked at me with disgust. I was a runt, and the only one who had survived. And what else? I was born to a different father. They are my half-kin.

"Their littermate and our sister, Rosepaw, was also a runt, and so they ignored her, too. So my sister and I became friends. My life in the nursery was one of the best times ever. She cared about me, taught me most of the things I would need to know in life. Then, a quarter-moon before our due ceremonies-- my apprentice one and her warrior one-- she disappeared. No one could find her." Thrushstar tilted his head towards the sky, closing his eyes. "I still remember the day clearly. They could not find a single trail leading to her whereabouts. My heart was shattered. I thought she had died.

"but she hadn't. She had ran away to StormClan. And to me, that was even worse than her being dead. I felt abandoned. She left to find a new life, to escape Frostberry and Goldenfox's hatred and abuse and neglect. She forgot about me. In that moment, she had been selfish. And we all knew it." The ginger-and-white tom swallowed what felt like a lump in his throat, his eyes narrowed, looking angry. "The cats who went to a Gathering told me this. Goldenfox and Frostberry disowned her, and later me, when I tried to cross the border to bring her back. They thought we weren't being loyal to our Clan. I can't blame them for doing that. but they've been blinded by loyalty. Neither of them found a mate. Goldenfox died twelve moons later, when he tried to prove himself by fighting a fox single-pawed. Our family, you can say, is pretty much shattered. If you were an outsider, you would never guess that we were siblings at all. And so, after Rosetail's disappearance, I shut myself away. I withdrew into the shadows. I refused to talk to anyone. I buried myself in my work, not knowing I was starting to follow the exact trail my brothers had walked. I thought the world was so unfair. Why did StarClan chose this life for me?" He ended his story emotionlessly, his voice empty and flat. Thrushstar tilted his head to look at Adderfoot with yellow-green eyes that showed, ever so slightly, the dullness of nostalgia.

"When Fangstar named me deputy, I thought I'd finally proved myself loyal. but when I became deputy, I had to force myself to interact with other cats-- I would have to, right? I had to organize patrols and aid Fangstar in leading the Clan. And gradually, slowly, my social life came back. I found a mate, Cinderstep. We have kits now. I found friends and a best friend. And I learned something: you are lonely because you chose to be lonely. There's tons of cats out in this world, Adderfoot. There are tons of cats willing to help. I'm willing to help. We all go through hardships. We all go through happy times. We are up and down all the time. but once you fall down a hole, whether you climb out or not is up to you." Pausing to take a breath, Thrushstar stretched out his tail in an attempt to touch Adderfoot's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "I'm going to bet two mice you came here to try to talk about Dawnthorn. And here's what I have to say: it's okay. I'm going to say something you might have heard before: let it go. And I'm not asking you to let Dawnthorn go. Don't. I'm asking you to let your grief go. You're in a hole of grief, and unless you climb out yourself, you're going to stay in that hole forever while the world above you and around you changes. Dawnthorn didn't pass away just to leave you in that hole. You fell into it yourself. You're a great father, Adderfoot. Dawnthorn lives on in Thornpaw. She, and your other kits, are waiting for you. They're changing with the world. You must be part of that world, too, and theirs. Thornpaw has become an apprentice. Squirrelheart and Harestep just became warriors. You must feel proud, right? I know I do. My own kits have become apprentices, too. Rosetail may still be in StormClan, but I know she doesn't regret leaving for a single moment. Dawnthorn lived an incredible life, and you helped make her life incredible. but she'll be waiting for you. Better make the best out your life before you two meet."

[Carotius]

Lionhearted
OOC: Remember what I said about Adderfoot's probable reaction if he wasn't so respectful? XD

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I did not ask for storytime... The sick tom restrained himself from rolling his eyes, knowing Thrushstar was simply telling his life experience in a method of offering comfort to the widowed warrior. Adderfoot's striped tail wrapped itself neatly across his paws, no longer swishing about in worried and unsettled thoughts. Relief slowly coloured his meadow green eyes a healthier shade, and, despite his gaunt face resulting from the cheekbones being more obvious through his fur and skin, he managed to bring a smile to himself, one that he hadn't pulled off in moons.

"You have had a life filled with sorrow, and yet found happiness at the end of its tunnel. I see why StarClan approved of your leadership when Fangstar disappeared. Thank you," the tabby bowed his head, holding in the cough that tickled at the back of his throat. When he raised his head once more, the tom's eyes had a strange glow of mixed emotions. "I'll make the best of what time I have left, as you said. Once that is done...guide them to their happiness for me."

Mewing a muffled goodbye and sharply turning his head away, Adderfoot pushed his way out of the den and into the pale light, blinking back the moisture forming in his eyes. Make the most out of it. The warrior glanced towards the dens where he knew his daughters to be, a small smile resting on his muzzle. They would have wonderful lives ahead of them, even after the terrible ignorance he gave them. For now, unwilling to let the leader of WhisperClan possibly hearing him, Adderfoot hurried his way back to the medicine cat's den, the feelings of sadness overwhelming his body at the thought of his end.

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OOC: FOREBODING. XD