Spirit of the butterfly

[Carotius]

Wolf

OOC: Typed this out in notepad while awaiting router. Let's see how screwed up the format wil be.

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Dawnthorn! Dawnthorn!

Adderfoot's mind was in a whirl of thoughts and emotions, fear ripping him from the inside as he dashed blindly through the stiff shrubs dotting the gloomy forest. His vision was distorted by thick black fog, smelling nothing less than rancid from a mixture of Thunderpath, blood, and death - all of those combined made the tabby gag, forcing him to shut his maw to block the foul taste from bathing his tongue.

"Adderfoot, help me!" 

There it was again. The lithe warrior swung his head around, trying desperately to pinpoint the source of the voice. He hated the sound of it. He despised the emotion that posed as the undertone of that voice - agony and fear. Dawnthorn, I'm coming! Tail lashing in frustration, he opened his mouth again, resisting every urge to gag as the stench from before overwhelmed his senses. No, he was going to keep at this until he found what he needed.. Until...

Green eyes widened in shock and relief. Yowling out his mate's name once more, Adderfoot charged forward, ignoring the stiff brambles that attempted to drag him down with their thorns, clawing his sides like the warriors of his rival Clans. but nothing was going to stop this tom from reaching his goal, not when he'd caught sight of her familiar white pelt...writhing on the ground. And what stabbed his chest with agony was the salty tang of blood, covering the lower half of her body.

Cold dread swarmed up his spine, sending a wave of fear and despair pulsing through his body. "Dawnthorn, no! I'm right here! I'm right here!" He skidded to a halt next to his mate, nuzzling her head furiously with a piteous whine. "You're safe with me.. You're safe with me. I.. I can't lose you again...!"

One could never imagine how heart-rending it was when the sensation of fur and bone against his cheek faded into frosty air. The blue gems of sight against beautiful cream fur had gone, disappearing into thin air and leaving nothing in sight save for the boggy ground below. No,  no, NO! Adderfoot raked his claws on the ground, as if some scum of a rogue was in front of him and had murdered his precious mate. He ignored the short but sharp bursts of pain that shot through his paws, suggesting that he have snagged a claw or tore a pad. He didn't care.

"Dawnthorn!" the shriek felt so foreign, yet so familiar in this realm of darkness. The warrior's eyes were glazed with remorseful tears, another wail escaping his muzzle. "I didn't mean for this to happen! Why did you have to take her? WHY?"

Without another word, the brown tom shoved his nose beneath his paws, ears flat against his head as he sobbed in the nightmare of his mate's death.

[Wolf]

The blue gems once more appeared in the darkness, no longer glazed with agony or death, but shone like the stars that decorated the beautiful queen's sleek white pelt. She seemed to be glowing, a picture of perfect health once more. "Wake up my darling." The queen whispered, touching her mate's forehead with her nose so softly that it was as if he had been touched by a butterfly. "I am here now. You don't have to grieve any longer. I'm always with you, even if you can't see me." Dawnthorn's voice was almost melodic, drowning out all other sounds that had been echoed by the nightmare.

"You mustn't blame or punish Squirrelpaw, Harepaw, and Cinderpaw for my death, they're hurt my by absence as well and they need you more than ever. They need their father." Her voice was stern but laced with love and worry for the family she had left behind and as she spoke their names, a brief image of each apprentice flashed in front of the two cats. "I miss you all so terribly and it hurts me to see you in so much pain, my love." As the images of the young cats faded, the queen lay down beside her mate and pressed her starry fur against his tabby pelt to share her warmth with him one last time before she was called back to the skies.

[Carotius]

It had to be another trick of the mind. Yes, that had to be it - his mental state was deteriorating with every moment of grief that struck him every pawstep he took, whether in the waking world or in his dreams. Thornkit was a painful reminder of the mother she never got to know, having lost the she-cat at the very moment of her birth, and named for the agonising pain that left her father to drown in for the past few moons. This nightmare was only getting worse. It was taunting him with his failure to keep his broken family together.

The soft touch of a nose against his forehead told him otherwise, however. Sniffing, he lifted up a paw, one tear-glazed eye scanning the vicinity for possible danger to his dream self; he was not prepared for the starry figure of Dawnthorn to grace his loneliness in this strange darkness. The black fog from earlier seemed to dissipate as she spoke, and the nightmarish sounds of terror were replaced by the soothing melodies of the she-cat's words of comfort. Alongside these feelings of relief were the pangs of regret for his past actions since her departure to StarClan, ones that even Thrushstar - then Thrushleap - had persuaded him to overcome to care for kit.

"I don't know what else to do... I've made so many mistakes, too many to fix!" he mumbled, resting his chin miserably on his damp paws. "What more when Squirrelpaw and Harepaw left with the others. They were probably partially encourage by my behaviour towards them.."

[Wolf]

"It's not too late to fix the mistakes of the past, Adderfoot. Squirrelpaw and Harepaw came back, didn't they? They will all be warriors soon and that might be your chance to reconnect with them." Dawnthorn advised, nuzzling his cheek as he rested his chin on his paws. "They really do love you, they just want to know that you love them too." She sighed, internally frustrated that she couldn't be there to help her little broken family come back together.

"Thornkit will need you more than ever when she becomes an apprentice, she needs to know you'll always be there for her. She's closer to Harepaw than any of the others, use that to your advantage to bring the family together again." The image of the newly apprenticed Harepaw licking the newborn kitten flashed around them, cutting off just before Adderfoot had sent the young cat away.

[Carotius]

Giving his older litter the cold shoulder was the first mistake Adderfoot had probably done as a father. It was rather similar to abandoning a family for a wrong they didn't do, and with the words that flowed from Dawnthorn, the reality and sensibility of it all finally dawned on him. It was never their fault. He leaned heavily into his mate's touch when she nuzzled his cheek, and for a moment, he forgot he was even dreaming in the first place, and thought he was simply back in WhisperClan, listening to the twitters of birds over head on a newleaf day, with his family by his side.

"...Thornkit. She reminds me so much of you," he murmured, picturing the energetic ball of white fluff as she scrambled atop his back and pummelled his underbelly with her tiny paws. Adderfoot was unusually fond of the single brown paw she had, the one thing from him that she'd gotten so far. "How will she be the one to mend the bond I broke? She's so young, and she doesn't know of...well.. whatever I did.."

He'd rather not speak about that incident ever again.

[Wolf]

Dawnthorn chuckled lightly at his response regarding their little daughter. "She notices more than you think. While she doesn't know exactly what happened, she does notice the distance. And I'm sure she's noticed how much her half-siblings want to have a relationship with you. It's been hard for them to grow up without a mother or father and she knows that." A memory from her own perspective flashed into her mind of watching little Thornkit placing her dark brown paw on top of her father's, the one physical piece of evidence linking the two cats together and a soft purr rumbled in her throat.

"Once Thornkit becomes an apprentice, I want you to take all our kits out together. As a family. Reconnect with them, show them that their father will always be there." The queen advised gently, but suddenly stiffened as a horrifying image jumped into her mind. "You must be careful when out with Thornkit. Take extra care to look after her." Her voice was tense and those were the only words she could force out of warning, unable to actually tell her dear mate what she had seen.

[Carotius]

OOC: Time to wake up

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Adderfoot quietly listened to his mate's words, cherishing the soft and warm feeling of her fur, breathing in the sweet scents of the butterfly Gardens that seemed to cling to her since their first meet. He let out a wistful sigh as the image of the Gardens sprouted in his vision, with the colourful winged insects resting upon his tabby pelt while he rested, right before being startled away by the adorable sneeze of the cream-faced she-cat. And I'll make sure they enjoy that same happiness..

The tom nearly whimpered at the sudden stiffness Dawnthorn went into, afraid that his dream was about to launch into another nightmare. It was just too soon. but when what came from the starry warrior were a piece of advice and a single vague warning, the tabby sprung up to his long legs, forgetting about the sickness that sapped his energy for the past few moons. What is it you're not telling me? He wanted to ask, just so he could be ready to protect his kin from the dangers the future was bringing them.

but Dawnthorn was fading...and so was Adderfoot.

"Dawnthorn! No, I don't want to leave!" he cried, reaching his nose forward to push it desperately into the white queen's cheek. His long limbs were vaguely aware of the ground that seemed to disappear beneath his paws, which only fuelled his wild fear. "At least tell me what's going to happen! I'll protect the kits! I won't let them fall prey to danger! Please!"

The brown tom jerked awake, the fur on his neck bristling in alarm as he took in his surroundings. It was cold. Little flakes of snow was being blown in through the entrance of the warriors' den, carried by a soft breeze. Dawnthorn was no longer next to him. He was back in reality. Sighing, with a slight annoyance at the minute bubbling of phlegm in his breath, Adderfoot settled his head back down again, promising himself to check back into the medicine cat's den once it was morning.